Impossible (Jerrie)

thirty six

Jade's pov

I got up as soon as the bell rang. I think Jed noticed my scared expression,so he came to me at told me to calm down. I wasn't calm,at all. I was scared of what might happen. I wasn't ready to talk to her properly yet.

Perrie wasn't in class,so I assume she went to our not-so-usual spot anymore. I went there,making different scenarios in my head of what I should do or act. Maybe is not that bad...

I see her,all alone,under the tree we would usually eat at lunch,before all my problems with swallowing food. I walk up to her,feeling more nervous than I ever did before.

"You came!" I see Perrie turning her face,so that she could face me completely. She must have heard my steps.

I just nodded in respond. I don't know what to say. I froze in that position,until Perrie told me so sit down if I want. So I did,I wasn't very close to her,because I wasn't feeling myself anymore when I would be around her.

"So,Jade..if you came here I assume you want to hear what I have to say." She says and I nodded.

"About the text.." I finally managed to say out loud.

Perrie's pov

Jade really seemed very hurt,and it hurts me,knowing that I did this to her for Alex. She was right telling that he changed me.

She asked me about the text. 3 words she managed to say to me since she got here. She seemes really tense.

"I didn't sent it." I say,now being nervous too.

"Oh,really?" That's all she said.

"Yes! I swear! Alex got my phone while I was sleeping and he sent it! Jade,you have to understand me." I didn't know if the cold from outside made my eyes watery of if it was the desire in me to just let it all out.

"Let's say I got over that,in a way or another..but,why?" Jade was confusing me more and more every time she would say something.

"Why what?" I ask her

"Why did you do that?" Whatever,she was crying now,and I let it all out too.

"Alex made me like this. You were right,Jade. He changed me,and I am so mad I figured it out now,and not sooner. I am sorry." I say,wiping off my tears with my sleeve.

"Why do you blame Alex? I understand that maybe Alex sent that text,but..I don't think is all his fault,Perrie." She was right.

"I'm not blaming Alex completely,of course. I was a bitch,really. I didn't know what was in my head. I still love you,Jade." I reached for her hands,and I was holding them in mine.

"I can't right now,Perrie. I am the one to say sorry now." She got up and left.

Just like that.

Jade's pov

I got up and went to Jed,who was waiting for me on a bench close to the tree we were at.

"How was it?" He jumps when he sees me

"It was fine,at the begging. I told her that I wasn't ready yet." I say,kinda feeling bad for it.

"You don't need to feel bad,you did what you thought it was the right thing." He puts his arm around my neck and we were walking to my locker to get the keys to my car.

A bunch of students were discussing in one corner of the school. Perrie and Alex were two of them. Jed sees the concern in my eyes,and he smiled at me,assuring me it was fine.

"Isn't that girl that you broke up with,Pezza?" I hear one voice coming from the front.

"She's with Jed now,of course. What a bitch."

I started walking faster,getting ready to tell everything I was holding in me for such a long time. I walked to that group,even if Jed told me to stop.

"You know what? I won't shut up. You don't even know half of all the story. Didn't Perrie tell you why she broke up with me? See Alex besides her? She broke up with me so that she could be with him and a day earlier she told me she loved me. Bullshit."

After the last sentence,I see the whole group with open mouths. I instantly felt bad about what I said,after looking at Perrie's face. I started crying and went to my car.

Jed was in the car with me,telling me that what I did was stupid and useless.

"Jed,I get it! It was stupid. I needed to do that! I am so tired of you treating me like I'm made of glass! I can handle things by myself." I say

"Jade,I want to help you. You really think I would treat you like this? Stop rejecting everybody who only want to help you." That's when I knew I messed up pretty bad.

"I'm sorry.."

"It's okay Jade. We all have our moments. But what you did was stupid. Really stupid." I started giggling,then I drove him home.

As I started driving to mine,I broke down. All of my bad experiences came as a flashback into my mind. I was crying and struggling to breathe. As soon as I arrived,fortunately nobody was home,I got my blades and started making lines on my left wrist. When I finished,I immediately regretted it.

I didn't sleep that night.

_

New one kinda sad,sorry.
I wanted to fix things in this chapter but I thought it was too early..

Dear lover,if I get my way or is your love enough?