My Two Best Friends|G.D|E.D

24|"pretending to be okay"

| Ethan |

A horrible text that I was forced to wake up to.

Honestly, I don't think I'm overreacting. The little things pile up into a huge corruption.

Little by little, this boy is literally taking Beth from my grip. Stealing her away from me. Distracting her from me.

No matter what Grayson and I do to prevent him from obliterating my whole life, nothing fucking works. Absolutely nothing. I try too hard for the girl I fell in love with seven years ago.

I lie awake at night with her on my mind, she stays with me in my dreams, and she's the first thought in my mind of every aching day with not being with her. But, Beth doesn't realize that.

I'm trying really hard, Grayson too. The both of us, we're trying really hard, but we can't pretend that it doesn't hurt when it really does knowing that no matter how much we try, she still wouldn't want us.

I'll just have to keep pretending to be okay. Only for her. Only for Beth.

| Grayson |

Beth and Damien were being awful touchy and happy in first period today. I was tempted to not only throw up, and clock Damien in his arched slit eye brow, but also flip my desk over again once again. 

It's like I'm drowning and no one knows, and everyone around me is able to breathe fine. I'm drowning in my own thoughts, is what I'm drowning in. The not so positive thoughts that continue to run through my mind and take over me as I try to keep a smile on my face everyday.

I really fucked myself up getting attached to her. 

4 periods passed, and it was now lunch. Our whole group was seated and having a good time except Ethan and I.

As I took my seat at our lunch table, I noticed Beth walking our way with a special guest. Damien. Beth brought Damien over to our table to sit with us. The two of them sat at the very end of the long table, excluding themselves from everyone else. Instead of Beth sitting in between Ethan and I in the middle of the everyone, she sadly decided to make that a change. 

Physically, I can not describe the ache I felt in my heart when I witnessed Beth placing her head upon Damien's shoulder.

I remember when she did that to me. When she ran out of the lunch room because she was upset with Ethan and I because we were being overprotective of her. She was angry because we tried to restrict her from other boys that could be a potential crush for her. And, that became Damien. Ethan and I attempted to cut the connection between them in the beginning, but we must have not tried hard enough, because look at them now. Maybe, if Ethan and I were more strict and protected her more, maybe just maybe, they wouldn't even have known each other. But, it's too late and we can't go back, because we missed our opportunity.

I wanted to cry and just let out all my emotions, right there, in the middle of everyone. I wanted to throw my fist into Damien's face, and make him feel the pain I feel, but mine is far worse. I wanted to cup Beth's face in my large hands and just kiss her with everything that's in me, again. I wanted to show her just how much I love her. But, instead, I just sat there. Sat there and just soaked in my own sorrows.

I don't even know where Ethan is anymore. Once he noticed Beth invite Damien over here, he just got up and left. I guess he couldn't handle watching her happiness bloom with another guy. That's smart. That's what I should probably do, instead of letting it secretly kill me. 

Finally, I stood up from my seat and decided it was time to leave.

"Gray! Where you going?" Beth shouted as I only took one step from the table.

I turned around to face her and Damien. "Gonna go find Ethan," I said as I scratched the back of my head.

Beth narrowed her angelic eyes, "Liar."

My eyes slightly widened because she caught me. I wasn't looking for Ethan, I just needed to get away from her.

"I'm not lying," I muttered as I watched Damien slightly fiddle with Beth's fingers. That killed me even more. 

Beth rolled her eyes and turned back around, "Whatever... love you."

I walked off without saying it back, because I know she doesn't mean in the way I wish for her to.

I left the lunch room and walked off to the halls, where Beth always goes when she's upset during lunch. 

The halls were empty and the only noise there was, was the pitter patter of my shoes as I walked around. 

I turned a corner and saw a guy with a black hoodie covering his face as he sat on the floor with his back against the lockers and his elbows placed on his knees. Instantly, I knew it was Ethan.

"Ethan?" I muttered as I walked over to him.

Ethan didn't move once I said his name, he stayed in his same position without replying.

I made my way to Ethan and sat next to him. I rested my back against the lockers with my legs extended out in front of me and my hands layed in my lap.

"You saw it too, huh?" He asked but didn't look at me.

"That's why I'm here," I said.

Ethan sniffled, "God, I could barely breathe when I saw that."

I closed my eyes imagining the scene over again, hurting myself even more.

"He's taking her little by little," Ethan whispered.

I rubbed my eyes and sighed, "And, there's nothing we can do."

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