I Hate You (Larry Stylinson MPREG)

Chapter 30: Where did Louis go?

⚠️WARNING⚠️: drug use

Harry's POV:

I'm up in the secret headquarters watching my baby do his thing. There's a window in my office that is actually a secret two-way mirrored window so I can see and observe the entire club when I look out of it. On the other side of the window it looks like a normal mirror to the onlooker. I've been watching my sweet babyboy through this window and on the cameras we have throughout the club all night. My baby is doing so good. He has made us a lot of sells so far. You think I like sending my poor little innocent and naive boyfriend out there to help me sell drugs? Because, I don't, but since my baby is so sexy it made me think of this great idea so I had to see it through. After using my love as a test subject and now that I see how well this method works, I'll continue doing this and start using other attractive girls and twinky pretty boys to continue doing this every night to boost my sales. I'll get Louis to train them on what to do and he'll be in charge of managing them too. I gotta do what I gotta do to keep this empire going. And, don't worry about Louis, he's gonna get a nice big fat reward for doing this for me.

Even though I'm a drug kingpin, I don't do drugs...often...maybe I might be lying...I don't fucking know, but right now I need this cocaine and fentanyl that's flowing through my veins. I snort the coke to keep me up and energized then I snort the fent to help mellow me out when I start to feel too crazy after doing too much coke. Mainly I do drugs for fun because I love getting high and other times I do drugs when I injure myself and when I'm in severe pain from beating someone's ass. Another main reason I do drugs is when I feel like I'm on the edge of losing my shit, and I'm on the edge of losing my fucking mind often. I'm on the edge right now actually. And don't get it twisted, I'm not some drug addict junkie or crackhead. Some would say that I'm a functional addict. I just really fucking love drugs and I can control myself with them unlike some people.

I feel like the drugs don't really help stop my urges to hurt people. They probably make it worse, but honestly I can't tell my sober self apart from my drug induced self anymore. I know I've hurt people who care about me, and I know I've hurt Louis, but I can't help it. I've come to the conclusion that I was made to hurt and destroy everything I touch, including myself. The drugs just make life feel more tolerable. I started feeling this way, way before I started doing drugs. It probably stemmed from having fucked up parents. My mother forever acts like she's a damn teen mom and doesn't give a shit about anything. And all the abuse I took from my drug addict father and now look at me, I'm just like him and I hate myself for it. I really fucking despise myself to death sometimes. I deserve death with all the fucked up shit I've done.

Sometimes I think about being a better person, but it's too late for me to change now. I'm too far gone to be helped. Nothing ever feels real to me anymore. With my father being the former leader of my gang, I've been surrounded by fake people and fake love all my life. The only thing that I know is real is how I feel about Louis. When we first met, I was immediately intrigued by him because he wasn't treating me like how everyone else in this town treats me and I fucking loved it. He was so different from anyone I've ever met. I've never felt these type of feelings towards anyone before and I don't understand how he managed to be the the first person to ever break my walls down, overload my senses and drive me completely fucking insane with infatuation. He fucks up my brain real bad. It makes me so angry sometimes! He makes me so angry sometimes for making me want him so bad! It all pisses me the fuck off and I don't understand any of it at all!

I hate watching these guys try to hit on MY boyfriend. I wish I could stab all of their eyeballs out for even glancing at him and cut all their hands off for touching him. I can't blame them though because he looks so fucking good. His mind and personality are also beautiful. I'm glad he's all mine. My beautiful fucking goddess. I'll forever worship the very ground he walks on. I wish I could lock him up in a room in my house, so I can keep him all to myself. I'm truly obsessed with him. I've never felt like this about anyone. It's driving me even more insane than I already am.