Things I Won't Forget // l.h

Part 7: Save Me

*Warning: Mature scenes including self harming.*

Luke's POV

As soon as I saw Amanda's face after I slammed that idiot to the ground, I instantly felt bad. Not for Zayn of course, but for myself. The look on Amanda's face said it all.

Disappointment.

She's given me so many looks of disappointment that I'm even disappointed in myself.

"Luke," She wrapped her arms around herself, as if I was about to hurt her. But that's bullshit because I was the one who had just saved her. In the corner of my eye I saw Zayn scurry away. "Why the hell would you do that?!" She shook her head and looked at me icily.

What was the matter with this girl?

"Amanda. He was going to rape you." I replied as coldly as Amanda exclaimed.

"No he wasn't, he was just touching me. It wasn't even that sexual." Her lips spoke the words but her eyes told a different story. She was scared as hell, because he was going to molest her, and we both know that's the truth.

I didn't even bother to retort back, I simply leaned against the wall and smirked at her. We both knew that I was right.

"Whatever Luke. You didn't have to hurt him." She said as she took a step closer to me.

"I think that wasn't an option, whether to hurt him or not," I bite my lower lip and continued,

"It was a must."

Amanda's POV

Why does Luke Hemmings always bite his lips.

It's distracting, whenever he take his lower lip in between his teeth.

I had experienced something much terrifying that the incident that just happened, but I was still shaken up about it. Somehow, Luke had managed to save me, and I was kind of grateful and glad for that, but of course he can't ever know that.

Too bad Luke couldn't save me what the bracelets on my wrists hid.

Flashback-

"Manda, please. It's not what it looks like. I can promise you baby, I'm just-" I didn't let Luke finish his sentence. How can I? After all, he's just like every other guy on this planet, and here I am, thinking he was somewhat different. Special. "What Luke?" I screamed at him, at the top of my lungs, "What have you possibly got to say for yourself? This is happening right before me, I can see what's going on. I don't have anything to say to you." I sobbed heavily and almost lost my balance. "Manda, I love-" How dare he start that sentence. How fucking dare he. "Don't finish that fucking sentence Luke. You don't deserve me. You've never ever loved me and this proves it. Fucking stay away from me." My voice cracked halfway through my speech and I felt like my world was crashing down bit by bit. "Babe, please. I fucked up, I'm so sorry. Hear me out Mandy, please.." There were tears in Luke's blue eyes, that turns slightly darker when he gets emotional. He was on his knees, holding onto my legs and begging his little lying heart out.

"I didn't love you because I was desperate to be loved, I loved you because I chose to. I bared my heart and soul to you, and you just grab it and throw it in the trash. Love isn't some toy you play around with and get bored of. Right now I don't know what else to say to you, except fuck you Luke."

Later that night, my feelings were torn apart, ripped, stomped on, scratched off and completely broken. I felt my depression from long ago rise again, and there was an aching itch on my left arm. I stared at it for a while, and went into the bathroom. I hid my secret kit in here, and as soon as I opened it, I found a silver pocketknife. I took a deep breath and with shaky fingers I took it out of its place. I looked up at myself in the mirror. I'm so fucking useless, maybe that's why Luke got bored of me so easily. With tears falling at lightning speed down my cheeks, my eyes were blurry as I picked up the pocketknife and ran it across my left arm. One red stripe, and then another one, and another, it was like a drug i couldn't get enough of. It just felt so good. One cut for making the mistake of loving Luke, one cut for trusting him, one cut for him never being able to love me, one cut for me staying alive. Blood was dripping down my arm as I realized how deep I'd cut. A final tear rolled down my eyes when I took the time to acknowledge what I had done.

I wiped the blood off with a towel and found some old bracelets to cover my wrist up with. Never will I let anyone close enough for me to reveal myself to them again.

*End of flashback.*