Chapter Eighteen: Titans in Tutus

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Author's Note: Sorry again. My life has just been so busy with school and all, but I promise I will attempt to update every Wednesday or Saturday. I will attempt to. But either way, enjoy this chapter.

Eren Yeager hadn't expected such an end to a quite lovely day (A/N: Which you'll get to see more of in my future story "Redemption"), but then again, that was life. He had been walking back to the SC base, taking in the sunny day when out of nowhere, he heard a beast roar, "WHERE'S YEAGER!!!!!"

What the hell? Eren then heard a voice that carried a mixture between agitated and sad, but attempting to be extremely stoic, which could only belong to a specific you-know-who.

"He's... out, Commander," Heichou grunted, the sound of his voice becoming more saddened.

"What on Earth has happened here!?" Eren muttered to himself as he bolted inside of the SC base, following the angry shouts of the Beast Creature until he came to the mess hall, his eyes just about to pop out of their sockets upon seeing that the Beast Creature was none other than Hange Zoe. 

Hange turned... scratch that. Hange cracked her neck trying to crane her head to a 180 degree turn in order to see who entered.

"I heard you call, Hange-san," Eren replied, saluting the commander. 

"Good," Hange chirped, "Now if you don't mind... might we have a talk with Levi here. Somewhere private?"

"Huh?" Why would Hange-san want to talk to him about Levi?

"Please, Eren?" Hange asked, attempting to sound sweet, but sounding more like a chalkboard rubbing against gravel. 

"Ummmmmm...... okay?"

"Good!" Hange then proceeded to grab Levi's hair and drag him to all the way to her office, where Eren followed in pursuit, flinching all the way what with a hissing Levi, who was reacting towards the pain. I mean, he may be Levi, but who doesn't react even a little when someone begins to yank at your hair!?

Once reaching the Commander's office, Eren ran in whilst Levi was thrown inside as Hange began to shut the door and lock it. Eren soon felt shivers of fear crawl up his spine and nape as Hange turned around with the expression of a devil, which was saying something, considering the word "devil" was now the new Eldian cuss-word. Hange stomped towards Eren with the power of a thousand Titans, her face growing more angry by the second.

"Seriously, Hange-san, what did I do!?!?" Eren was quivering.

"Hange, leave him be," Levi replied, rubbing his scalp.

"What?" Okay, now Eren was at an all new level of confusion.

"S***ty Glasses temper tantrum has nothing to do with you Eren. I'm afraid her problem's with me."

Hange just ignored the side conversation and continued to tower over Eren, her voice once again achieving it's Beast Mode, which reminded Eren heavily of his half-brother, Zeke Yeager.

"Why don't I tell you what's going on?" Hange replied before her temples began to bulge out of her head, "Her I am, just trying to do some inventory in the base when I find this goddamn... Pipsqueak CHEWING Private Ral's FACE!!!"

"Private Ral?" Eren asked, "As in Petra?"

"Mmm-hmm," Hange replied, "Just chewing the poor girl's face!!!!!"

"Hange, the whole 'face-chewing' thing, well, it's called 'kissing' and that's what I was doing," Levi said, unafraid.

"GUILTY!!!!!!!!!!" Hange shouted in Levi's face, knocking him onto the floor.

"Okay... why are you telling me this?" Eren asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You seemed to have known about Levi Ackerman's private affections," Hange replied, "I saw the way your smirked after we received her letter a few months ago!!"

"Oh.... I.... uh....I," Eren couldn't bring the words out of his mouth, his voice growing meeker by the second, "So what do you want me to do about it."

"FIX IT, OF COURSE!!!" Hange shouted in his face, saliva spitting out while she was at it, "Destroy all of the Titans in Tutus and pink, fluffy unicorns dancing on the rainbow around Levi's head!!!"

"Why don't we all just calm down?" Levi asked, "You especially."

Hangers face became the ultimate shade of red, and not red as in blushes, roses, romance, and everything Levi's face became when he though of Petra, but the kind of red you see in fire, swollen hands, burns, and anger.

"Don't you 'calm down' me, Levi Ackerman," Hange said in a soft, yet dangerous voice that would make a Titan pee its pants should it have any of the... parts required, "I'm just trying to make sure everyone's happy here. It's my job!!"

"Well," Levi claimed, spitting back at Hange, "You failed at your job, because for the last four years, I was at my most unhappiest without Petra there!!!! And now I finally have her back, and you are ruining everything."

"Well, I'm sorry, Levi," Hange shouted back, "But Petra has a lovely boyfriend who treats her like a princess!!" 

"Not really," Eren muttered, what with Levi nodding his head in agreement!!

Hange ignored him and just continued to shout in Levi's face.

"So you better stop pouncing on Petra before you ruin everything for them!!"

"DID YOU NOT EVEN HEAR WHAT EREN SAID!!??"

"YOU TWO, STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Eren shouted at the top of his lungs.

Hange and Levi turned to face the boy, who's face was serious and business-like.

"We just all need to calm down! I know you both have your own opinions on this... situation we have here, but please!! We can't let small things like these get a head of us now! Heichou, you will get Petra one day, but right now, focus on what's important in your life and try to make sure that you don't end up making situation worse, because trust me, with the way they are going, Auruo and Petra are not going to last long. And the whole 'Focus on what's important' thing? That goes for both of you."

Levi wanted to protest, shout, group Eren from his titan-killing privileges or whatever, but deep down, he knew that he was right. What with the Eldia-Marley War going on, Levi just had too many things to do. Plus, he was also right on something else... Auruo and Petra were not going to last that long.

Hange, on the other hand, got that creepy smile on her face that she used to get whenever a new Titan subject was kidnapped. It was the very face she made when Annie Leonhart went on a rampage as the Female Titan in Stohess District four years ago.

"It's open season on Titans in Tutus. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!"

"And you, Hange-san," Eren replied, smacking his forehead, "You need to just dial it down. Way down."



Author's Note:

Hey! I know a lot of you have been waiting for the chapter where Hange completely gets her panties in a bunch over Levi and Petra's little kiss. So here it is!!

Again, if I'm not on Wattpad, I'm busy with school and my life, but please don't stop reading the book!

Again, all rights to Attack on Titan go to Hajime Isayama.

-TBG290 



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