Fragments

9.6

9.6

Walking the same streets I had before is weird. I shove my mittens into my jacket pockets and look up at the falling snow. The sky is grey and cold, kind of like how I feel. Instantly, I look back down at the road.

My parents were nervous when I said I was going for a walk. I bit my tongue when I saw their worried eyes as they sat together, strangely, at the kitchen table. Dr. Moore's words had apparently made them keep their mouth's shut like I was. I wanted to smirk and tell them I wasn't going to jump off a bridge, but as I neared the one I had jumped from before, the joke no longer seemed very funny.

I want to just walk past it. To ignore it's cold, iron posts that I had climbed over before. But my eyes drift and suddenly my feet aren't moving me towards the other side anymore. I rest my gloved hands on the guardrail and peer over.

The water is dark and vicious, moving in time with the wind. Snowflakes instantly are swallowed whole, no longer to be seen. I back up.

"I'm past this," I say under my breath as a car passes. It blows my hair and I have to hold my hat to stop it from fluttering away. My feet start moving faster and don't slow until I reach the other side of the bridge.

"Piper?"

The voice is quiet but I spot the owner across the road, nervously looking towards me. As I begin making my way towards her I notice that her blonde hair - once bright and straight - is matted and faded. Her cheekbones stick out like jagged edges on her hollow face. This isn't the Lane I had known before.

"Are you..." she trails off as I stand in front of her, staring into her faded eyes. She can barely keep her gaze level with mine.

"Home for Christmas," I respond.

She nods, looking down the street. "I need to get going," she murmurs, trudging past me. "It was good to see you."

As she walks away I can't bring myself to move. The last time we saw each other was not on good terms, and now she's being civil with me? Something isn't right. Plus to make things worse, her face reminded me of how Trevor's had looked in the end. And honestly, her eyes reminded me of mine.

"Hey, Lane!"

She stops her slow shuffle and turns around, shivering against the wind. Her cheeks should be red but they don't hold any colour in the cold. She isn't good.

I cross the road again and link my arm through Lane's. Her eyes widen slightly, and her mouth opens, like she wants to tell me off like her old self would. But no sound comes out. Lane's given up.

"Want to grab a warm drink?" I ask, taking off my hat and mittens."I'm cold and it's starting to snow bad." She nods halfheartedly and I smile, placing my hat on her head. "Great. I know a place not far from here."

The walk takes twice as long with me pulling Lane beside me, but I'm almost thankful for it. When I see the front door it already feels too soon. Before, I was only thinking about going here, about maybe walking by. But now things have changed. Now I have to help Lane, because Trevor can no longer fix his mistakes.

"Where are we going?" she asks, as I walk us up the short driveway.

"A friend's," I lie. I have no other explanation, no other way to get her to come inside. It's the only way I know that maybe she will come inside and get the only possible help I know of. The only person I know who's overcome the same drug she's struggling with.

My hand shakes before I knock on the door. Inside my chest, my heart beats along with it nervously, unsure of how this is going to go. Last time I had skipped out. Last time I had avoided the past. And now I'm here, with a favor in exchange for the confrontation.

Heavy footsteps walk behind the wooden door. My hands shake in the sleeves of my jacket.

"Where are we?" Lane whines quietly behind me.

"A friend's," I repeat.

The lock turns.

"Then why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" she asks.

When the door opens, the same eyes eyes I had watch life fade from stare at me, sending shivers up my spine. Only it's not Trevor.

"Piper?" he asks, unsure.

I nod. "Hi Carter. I'm here to apologize." When I step aside to reveal Lane, he doesn't look surprised. "And I kind of have a favor to ask."