Cause and Effect

Part 25

Daniel-

The car ride to the hotel was awkward for the others apparently. I was more annoyed. I mean its not every day that the guy who annoys the hell out of you just so happens to offer you a ride.

We had left for the loft after Oliver had returned with the bags. We parted with Zander, or who I found out his real name to be Alex, and Dimitri there. The police even brought my car back to the hotel.

Thank God.

We had finally reached the loft. Everyone tired and depressed. Eli had fallen asleep in Oliver's arms. Ally was quieter than usual, although I wouldn't blame her, and Brent was sniffling quietly. All while Jake and I were carrying the bags. Everyone had finally settled in the living room after Jake and I trudged back from the rooms.

"I... I'm sorry. I let her d-die..." Brent finally squeaked after a few moments of silence.

Eli was still asleep, while Jake hugged Brent closer to his chest, comforting her while shaking his head.

"No. You didn't. It's not your fault. Things just happened to... To happen at the worst time." Jake mumbled, but we all heard it.

Brent shook her head, "No, it was my fault. I s-should've been there for her. I should've been watching her and k-keeping h-her safe. B-but I couldn't. I failed. I l-lost her." She sobbed.

And I couldn't take it. I couldn't take her sobs, and the lies she was telling herself.

"Be quiet," my voice came out harsher than intended, "Its not your fault. Its nobody's but the fucker that killed her. Stop blaming yourself. I've learned from experience, that doing that does absolutely nothing but cast you into a endless abyss of misery and lies." My eyes darkened at the end, and felt a bit of fear because that 'Experience' part wasn't supposed to slip out. Brent stared at me a bit.

"Experience?" She questioned. I shook my head in a way to tell her not to ask. She frowned, tears slowly stopping. "But I promised myself that I would keep her safe. We all did. I can't deal with the fact that we couldn't-"

"I know we promised! I know we couldn't do anything about it! You know how I feel when I can't commit to a promise! No matter how hard I try! But we couldn't, we couldn't keep her as safe as we would like! Because shit happens! Stop blaming yourself," Brent stared at me with wide eyes. "Lilly wouldn't want you to."

Brent's eyes trailed down to her lap, while everyone else was staring at me. Even Eli, who I'm pretty sure I woke up.

"I-You're right." She whispered, but loud enough for us to hear, "I shouldn't be blaming myself. Lilly wouldn't want me to. She'd want us to be happy, and smiling. Giggling and telling us that it's alright because she's better off now. But I'm not like that. I'm not gonna be happy, and alright. One of my best friends just died." She looked like she was talking to herself now. "I'm not going to pretend I'm not sad. But I will control my feelings. For as long as I can." She snapped her head up quickly, making everyone flinch, except Ally. "I want to find him. I wanna find the guy who killed her. I wanna find him and beat him senseless for what he did. I want to do whatever it takes." She looks at all of us with emerald flames in her eyes.

"Even if I have to search all of New York."