Cause and Effect

Part 35

~Bradly~

(A/N: I think that I am going to start sneaking some minor character's POV in here- comment if you like it and if you don't, we can stop. This is Kelly, btw ;) Hope you like, COMMENT IF YOU DON'T)

Seeing her in my arms gave me a surge of happiness. Soon she was fast asleep with a content smile on her pink lips. I brushed some hair out of her face, playing with the ends. I had something to get off my chest to her and figured this was the best time to tell her:

When she wasn't actually listening.

"Hey, Brent... You can't hear me right now, but I need to tell you something." I took a deep breath and continued. "I have known you since the summer after you graduated, and as soon as I met you, I knew you were special. You were angry about something your mother had said before you left and came in search of a bar with a good scotch. Nobody even dared tell you that you were under-aged in fear of their insides being burned alive. I was doing a gig with my band and I came over to talk to you and you nearly chewed my head off. You were so damn intimidating... but I didn't want to give up the chance to talk to you so I stayed, practically risking my life. Eventually you told me what had happened and we talked about anything and everything. You told me about your parents and I told you about my brother in the hospital. I told you about his cancer and you didn't look at me with pity or that dumb sympathetic look people give me. You knew what I felt and you just nodded in understanding and let me continue my rant. Eventually you told me your whole story and I felt like every asshole I have met who gives you that stupid 'I understand' expression, even though they don't in any way, shape, or form. But I didn't pity you- no, instead I looked at you as a whole new person. It didn't take long for me to fall for you, Brent..." She stirred slightly in her sleep and I worried she would wake up.

She didn't, though. She instead just held me tighter and gave a content moan. Hearing even the slightest noise come from her lips caused feelings to stir in my stomach and I fought the urge to kiss her. She just looked so at peace... she looked like little girl. Innocent and sweet. Though I knew that as soon as she would wake up, she would have her usual sharp tongue, angry eyes and troubled mind. I had to continue; I would lose all my courage in the morning.

"But you never saw me as anything but a friend. And for me, that was good enough. It still is... but when I found out about you dating Jake, I felt crushed. It was like I threw my heart out into a bull fight and it got beat into the ground. And when Jake invited that blonde over, I couldn't help but feel so angry. He had you- he had you- and he settled for that bimbo! If I had you, Brent, I would never let you go. I love you and I am so head over heels for you, it hurts. Honestly, sometimes I don't know why I love you. You snap at me for no reason, punch walls, beat people up, and are the most sarcastic person I have ever met. Sometimes you are the literal spokes person for Bitches R Us, but I can deal with all that- it makes you spontanious. I know I can't say this in person, though, so I will never have you. I will always just be that friend you have who is ready to catch you. And I won't tell you this because it will make you feel weird, but I need to say it. I love you, Brent, and I will never stop loving you." I took a deep breath and checked again to make sure she was still asleep and she was.

I heaved a relieved breath and bent my head down to kiss her goodnight. I will never have the courage to say that to her while she is awake, but at least I can say it while she is sleeping, now.

The next morning, she didn't show any signs of hearing my confession. I was relieved but slightly sad. If she didn't hear it then, she never would and she would never know how I feel. And instead of stopping her as she stepped into the doorway and said 'thank you' and kissing her like I imagined I would, I just let her walk away and slip through my fingers as usual.

The kiss I imagined played through my mind. I pictured how it would be. Soft and sweet, but hard and full of passion. Rough and complete with mutual love.

The kiss stayed in my mind and didn't leave.

And that is all it will ever be: an image of love but never the real thing.

That is all it will ever be and I have to deal with it. But for my best-friend, the girl I love? It is worth it.