Old Fashioned Hood Love

9/ The Pain Falters

"...How you make me feel can't nobody do that for me. And, we go through some things but I can't stop loving you. Oh, I like it..."

Sevyn Streeter | I Like It

Michelle 'Phat Phat' Anderson****

   I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed before the weight of the world came slamming down on my shoulders.

  Yesterdays' events came flooding back into my mind. Flashes of me crying and drinking shot through my brain. Photos of Messiah coming came rushing in.

I gripped my head as a slight pounding found its' way inside of my head. My body felt sore and limp but, my back was on fire. My eyelids felt all droopy and heavy. Overall, I felt horrible and most likely looked like shit.

As I tried to get up an arm had me trapped in. I looked down and saw Messiah peacefully sleeping as his light snores filled the air. A small yet, real smile found its' way to my lips as I looked at the man who has caused me so much pain. You would have thought my love died down after the shooting and his running away but, it didn't. It only made me realize how strong it was that it was vehemently painful.

How could someone love someone so much where it hurts?

Simple. The way I love Messiah.

I sat back and just watched as his chest rose and fell. His breathing came out steady and his light snores sounded. His eyes didn't flutter nor did he stir and murmur in his sleep. He was truly at peace. And that, made my aching heart warm.

I quietly removed his hand from my body and softly stood from the bed. I moved around my room quietly as I got my clothes and things ready for my shower. I didn't want to wake up Messiah as I was holding off on confrontation a little while longer.

After I was finished gathering my clothes, I hung them on my door knob and quietly walked out of the room that held a sleeping Messiah. The smell of breakfast hit me as soon as I shut the door of my room. I heard chattering and laughter in the front room. I walked into the front room and saw the crew, excluding Juicy, joking around. They seemed so happy and carefree unlike myself.

I stepped in closer to and they all looked at me. I still wore Messiah's shirt and a pair of fluffy pink slippers. My hair was falling around my face onto my shoulders and my eyes, no doubt, looked horrible.

I forced a smile on my face to greet my close friends,"Hey y'all."

My voice was still hoarse and strained from all my crying over the past week.

"Hey Phat Phat." Noodles stood up and pulled me into a loose embrace as he tried to avoid putting any pain on my back.

"Sup, Phat." Smooth greeted as he held out his hand for me to do a little handshake we made up back when Smooth and Red first started dating awhile back.

I laughed, my first real laugh, as we did our handshake."See you haven't lost your touch." I joked. He shook his head and laughed along with me.

"No greeting, mami?" I asked as I arched a brow while looking at Red who sat under Smooth eyeballing me.

She smacked her lips and rolled her chocolate eyes."I'm hapoy to see you smiling. Y'all straight or no?" She asked as she hugged me briefly.

"We haven't talked yet. But, y'all will be the first to know." I promised and went into the kitchen. Juicy was up in the kitchen making breakfast. She had the radio on as she moved her hips seductively along to the old throwback Weak by SWV. She was singing along. I snuck up behind her and wrapped my arms around my little sister.