Old Fashioned Hood Love

14/Crumbling Pieces of Life

"...Sometimes you gotta walk through the darkness to get to the light..."

Jhene Aiko|For My Brother

                       Messiah 'Siah' Anderson***

          I sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair placed along the white wall of the hospital waiting room. This shit felt like déjà vu all over again.

          The plan was simple. Go in, give the supply, get the money, get out. But, along the way we were attacked, and somehow Noodles managed to catch a couple hot ones. It all happened so fast that I couldn't process what was going on. One minute shit was cool the next we were having a full-on shoot out. Seconds later there was so much blood and yelling I couldn't comprehend.

           Now here I was, once again, sitting in this damn chair with my head held in the palm of my hands praying that my bestfriend would make it out alive.

           "Messiah." I looked up and saw my mom holding the twins, MJ and King.

            They were already three months old and getting bigger each and every day. They were born two months early because of Shay slipping while she got out of the tub one night and hitting her head. She died and they had to do an immediate C-section to retrieve the twins before they died also. Well, now here I was, a single parent trying to raise two young boys without their mother. Also having to run a drug business that was extremely dangerous.

              I stood up and took the twins from her and sitting back down.

              They came out to be identical twins, looking like the spitting image of myself when I was a baby. So as soon they were born, I didn't need a DNA test to tell that these two were my kids. The only thing they seemed to have inherited from Shay was here smooth light colored skin and the one dimple that they both had. The only thing that could tell these two apart was, MJ had his only dimple placed in his right cheek, and King had his dimple placed in his left cheek. Other than that, they were the spitting image of myself and the two could hardly be deciphered.

              Both were sleeping soundly, immune to everything going on around them.

               "Baby, what happened?" My Mama asked as she placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

              "The plan was simple. Go in, switch the merchandise, get out. Somewhere along the plan, shots were fired and soon the place was filled with so much blood." The images of Noodles lying in my arms with blood spilling from his lips as he tried to speak flooded my brain.

               "Messiah! Messiah!" I looked up and saw that Red, Juicy, and Phat were all racing towards me with tears covering their beautiful faces.

                "Where is TayQuan?"

                "Where is Smooth?"

                "What happened?"

                "Who was shot?"

                They bombarded me with questions as thier voices shook with worry. But, my mind had zoned out as I stared at Michelle who was staring directly at the twins with tears still pouring from her eyes. Many emotions flickered through her eyes but, hurt was the one that was the strongest. It was like the night she had met Shay all over again. The hurt, pain, and  sadness that was ever so present in her beautiful eyes began to nip at my already aching heart.

                Being busy with everything that had been happening I wasn't able to keep up with my word. And after bringing the twins home, I knew that I had to become selfless in love for the sake of Michelle knowing that she did deserve better. But now, staring at her looking so vulnerable made me want to rethink my decision all over again and wrap my arms around her like the day I had found her in her bed huddled by tissue and empty wine bottles.