Old Fashioned Hood Love

13/The Distraction

You.

The burning desire within me is to be loved

The hole burned inside me is one that has yet to be filled

without you near

I hate you

But my love for you is stronger

Without you near I'm not whole

With you close I'm in pain

Maybe we should leave each other alone

Maybe we would be better off

Who am I kidding

I just want to be loved

By you.

-You | D.Elise

Michelle 'Phat Phat' Anderson

          I angrily threw my phone down on my bed and slid down the wall. My butt came in contact with the hardwood floor as my hands covered my tear stained face.

         I was angry, hurt, frustrated, and annoyed. That damn man knew how to always rile me up, calm me down, make me smile, break me. It was sad that I had let it go this far but, it was already done and I couldn't fall out of love with someone who I was waist-deep in love with.

          It was pitiful and I knew this.

******

          I was seated in the corner of the library in the far back studying for an upcoming test at school.

          Surprisingly, it has been awhile, months, five, to be exact, since I had been in touch with Messiah. I had mixed emotions on that subject. If I wasn't mistaking, Shay should have been and delivered the twins by now. Some nights, I would stay up till the wee hours of the night wondering about how his life is going. Are the twins his? Are him and Shay currently in a relationship? Is he happy? Does he misses me? And with that question, I would laugh a humorless laugh and shake my head. If the motherfucker really missed me he would have fought for me to stay a little harder.

          Yet, he hasn't. All he does is have his little workers watch me like some type of prey. That shit irked the hell outta me, honestly. Like damn, I'm damn near a grown ass woman and you got these motherfuckers watching me like I was born fucking yesterday. And to put the icing on the fucking cake, his ass doesn't even speak to me in five months? Yeah, that nigga must think I'm a pretzel 'cause he got me all the way bent!

         I felt the slow pounding creep to my forehead as I knew a major migraine was making it's way. I sighed heavily as I shook my head and closed the book I was just reading. I gathered all my belongings and put them into my book bag. Standing up, I tugged on my highwaisted jean shorts that stopped to the middle of my thigh. My pale orange tank top was tucked into my shorts, as I pulled it slightly out to give myself a small breather. It was May and the Summer heat was already cooking a sista'. My once yellow skin had darkened a shade darker.

            Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I pulled out my phone and began texting Red. We were supposed to be hitting up some party later on tonight. She kept on complaining about me becoming a house body and refused to let me become one of those God forbidden creatures. Her words, so not mine.

           Suddenly, I bumped right into someone which caused my phone to fall onto the floor. The only thing that protected the screen from becoming cracked was the protective case around it.

           "Shit," I swore loudly underneath my breath. I bent down to retrieve my cellphone but it was already picken up. I looked up to see one handsome young man standing directly in my line of vision and looking at me with an apologetic smile painted on his chocolate face.