Old Fashioned Hood Love

21/ Whose To Blame

"No one can own up to the responsibilities given unto you. For you are your own person and you are withheld for everything you do."

-Destiny Elise a.k.a D.Elise

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             Messiah Jackson***

"I'm sorry to inform you all but, Mr. Winchester did not make it out alive. I tried our best to revive him but, he was already gone when I was given him." The doctor I had hired not too long ago, Dr. Foster announced.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." Michelle mumbled repeatedly as she rocked back and forth hugging herself.

If I was being honest with myself, I was glad the snake was dead. He was a no good ass nigga anyways. And for that, he deserved to die. But the way he left Michelle, was something I was not prepared for. She looked so— gone.

"Mr. Jackson, sir, I advise you all to calm her down. Seeing as that she is in her third trimester, it can cause early labor, birth defects to the child, and potentially become a stillborn." His voice held a warning tone to it as he eye the shaking Michelle with much concern.

I nodded my head and went to calm down Michelle as she held her eye tightly shut mumbling in her native tounge while rocking back and forth.

"Michelle, come on naw. All this ain't gon' be good for yo' baby, ma." I tapped her shoulder.

Her head shot up and her watery eyes narrowed at me as she struggled to stand to her feet. "You. You did this to him! You got him killed and now he ain't here wit' me no more! You were so damn mad that you fucked and I had found someone who made me happy and you wanted him gone! So you made them people kill him. You did and I will never forgive you!" She poked my chest with her manicured finger.

"Mwen toujou te gen renmen pou ou men ou toujou fè m 'anyen. Poukisa ou fè m 'anyen tèlman mal, Messiah." She drummed on my chest with every word she was saying.

  Red had pushed me away as Juicy and Smooth pulled her away from me. I just stared at her. I honestly didn't know what she was saying, but what she said before threw me off. That was never my intention but seeing as he dared to kill my father, I loathed him.

"What the fuck you mean yo'? You watched that nigga blow my daddy brains out! I never gave a fuck about that nigga no ways. Last I check, yo' ass heard the same shit I heard. He played you, nigga. And if yo' ass to stupid to sit here and cry over that nigga then that's you. Just don't come runnin' to me when that damn baby die cause you stressin over a nigga who ain't give a fuck about you." I threw my hands up in the air and stood back.

Michelle ripped out of Juicy's grip and ran up to me. Her left hand that held her new ring pierced my cheek as she slapped me. The impact of the slap caused my head to jerk to the side.

"Fuck you Messiah!" She spat out at me.

I rubbed my stinging jaw and moved it around as I slowly turned my head to face her glowering face. My upper lip trembled as I fought the urge to roll it up. I wrapped my hand around her throat and slammed her back into the wall and watched as her eyes grew in fear. Her mouth opened and closed as I gripped her throat tighter.

"Don't put your fucking hands on me, Michelle." I bit out through clenched teeth.

Her hands clawed at mine as she gasped for air.

"What the fuck wrong wit' you, nigga?" Smooth yelled as he yanked me away from Michelle.

She slid down ths wall as she felt upon her neck. "You chocked me." She whispered while peering at me through blurred eyes.

"I stayed down for yo' ass through it all and for you to up and leave me? That shit hurt, yo. You ain't give a fuck about what I felt, so why should I?" I ranted out while ignoring the hurt burning in my chest.

  "Really? All I ever asked for was your loyalty and time! You only gave me one of those. But the other was just as important. To know you was giving up a piece of me everytime you slept with another woman besides me hurt me more. Oh and the twins? Those were supposed to be mines! Not some random hoe you cheated on me while I was laid up in the hospital cause of you!" She shouted as her voice cracked.

"How you think I fuckin felt when I find out you pregnant with another nigga baby? Then you tried to get married on me? Fuck outta here!" I threw my hand up in the air following after her as she made her way up the spiral stairs.

"Karma is a bitch huh?" She rolled her eyes and walked into an empty guest room slamming the door in my face.

  "Fuck!" I angrily shouted and went back downstairs.

"What the hell is wrong wit' yo ole high yella gray eyed dumbass? Puttin' yo' hands on my rider nigga!" Red shouted as she got all up in my face.

"Smooth. Get ya' girl." I warned.

"Or what? I oughta-"

"Do what? What you gone do?" I stepped up.

"Yo' nigga, you trippin. You on some straight bullshit if you think you finna put yo' hands on my girl. Naw, ion know what you got runnin through yo' head but, you need to go check on yo' kids. Get ya' head right and go fix that shit wit' Phat." Smooth adviced.

I stayed silent for a minute or so before nodding my head. I licked my lip and made my way towards the twins' room.

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"Open the door, Michelle." I groaned with my face in hands.

"Go the hell way, Messiah!"

"Ten seconds or Imma ram this shit right open."

"Ion care."

"Ten... nine... eight... five... three... fuck this!" Just as I was getting ready to bust through the door it was flung open.

Michelle had her hand on her hip as tears stained her face. She wore a strapless bra and pair of underwear. "What the fuck do you want?"

"We need to talk." I stepped in.

I've never even been in this room before. The walls were a perfect shade of gray as the furniture all around was white and black. I took a seat on the messy bed and looked at Michelle who still stood by the door with her arms folded.

"Talk. I'm nof in the mood. I'm pregnant, my fiance died, and my damn baby won't stop kicking cause his daddy ain't alive to to-touch my stomach." She looked down at her rings and bit down on her bottom lip.

"Look, I really ain't mean to kill him." I lied.

She looked up and shook her head,"Yeah and I didn't mean to slap you."

"Why you got two rings?" I looked down at the set of exquisite rings.

"This one," she held up the ring with the large green emerald in the middle. "was a promise ring." She smiled. "This," she held up the golden ring with rocks that could be seen from the moon. "was my engagement ring. He said that the gold represented my eyes. He told me, everytime we made lo-love, my eyes would turn a beautiful shade of golden and when he saw this ring," she gestured towards the ring."he knew it was the one." Tears pooled in her eyes as a distant look began to overtake them.

I watched with intensity as smile graced her lips as she reminisce. Although it angered me, I was happpy that someone had treated her like a queen. It should have been but I fucked up.

And whose to blame for that othwr than myself?

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,Elisee