RANTS: Roleplays, the Good, the Bad, and the Weird.

Wattpad Censorship; and how to avoid it. (nsfwish)

"fucking shit!" Evan rammed his foot down on the brakes, trying to slow the car down before it could crash into the statue like figure standing still in the centre of the road.
/this comment has been reported and is under review/
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"you tried to kill me!" Ariadne's fists clenched and unclenched as red rage ran rapidly rippling right through her veins, "Why The hell should  I trust a" she frustratedly fumbling for words "A Monster like you!"
/this comment has been reported and is under review/
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(A/N, the next part was written by a scone suffering post traumatic sin disorder after stumbling upon Xtrem smut in what she thought was a cheesy innocent fanfic...I'm still in shock....so er..yah...just pretend this example is steamier then it is) 
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"Aaaaaaah~" his head titled back as he moaned louder, cheeks flushed as he grew closer and closer to flavour town, his hips tango moving faster and faster as the urge to split a mango grew.
/your book has been deleted due to you deciding to smut, have a nice day/

So, time to take a break from bashing our beloved role-playing community, and instead talk about a rather annoying problem pervading the place.
Wattpad's sensitivity being hurt.
Rather like a stereotypical old dame who cries bloody murder at the sight of a wahmen in non corseted garb, but happily reads the foulest erotica maxima to exist before the creation of le interwebs, Wattpad has a bit of thing going on as to what counts as Offensive/P0rnographic/most improper for those "pure" little young'ns.
.....and what doesn't.
Okay, wattpad doesn't like people using such foul language, no big deal, just write the cuss in a different way then normal.
Wanna say the ruder version of crap? Here are a few suggested substitutes.
Shît, sh-t, sh1t, sh*t, ShIIiTT,
Wanna use the more course word for sex? Try
Fūck, Fxxk, f-*k, fuUUUUCCCcccCcCcKK, F¡ck.
You get the idea -_-
But wait, hang on, your reply was greyed out even though it contained no words of the devil!
How can this be??
Very simple my dear Watson, The Term "Kill yourself" has become extremely popular in this welcome haven of niceness,  pleasantry, and general acceptance. So wattpad, deciding  to put an end to the extreme meanness once and for all, now considers the word "Kill" a blasphemy against, well against whoever wattpad worships, which is probably wattpad.
But even then, the course of action is simple, just alter the spelling of the verb and Ta Daaaaa!
Problemo solved!
Now shove off I have steggy fanart to cry over.
Huh? Oh, yeah, the final problem, let's get too it.

Wattpad has a love hate relationship with sex, mostly love, but the love has to be more alone the lines of poorly written   mega hits  like "My Sexy Mate Alpha  Kidnapper is also my best friend and roommate? **not clickbait**"
rather then the obviously h8ful  poorly written  "Your Sexy Mate Alpha Kidnapper who's  your best friend and roommate OC"  

Basil curry (hey isn't that the actor from sherlock) If you is doing the sex scenes in the commenting, it's wrong, you all know that poorly worded smut is only allowed in watty award winners, not anywhere else!
One almost sex scene in your book? Say bye bye to those 2.8K comments cos this book is going into the dark depths of deletion.
So
long, hard, wait no I can't make this into a dick joke I'm too pure for this why did I try to make a sex joke I can feel my ancestor's judging me.

Ehem, long story short, if you're going to smut, taaake it to PM, or DM, or whatever the heck it's called.
Though sometimes smut is ignored by the all seeing eye of Censor, it's a tricky sticky  situation, make up your choice as to how your characters get in the nude, but just remember the kind hints which you've already forgotten...
TL;DR
Censor: Cusses, Kill, Cum, and anything else that might make Wattpad need smelling salts.
That's all