What Is That Supposed To Mean? (Thomas Jefferson x reader)

Uptown

  Alexander and Eliza move uptown with their children. I stay in the White House for a little longer, until I can't stand the posh building. Nobody cares that my nephew is gone. I will never see him again. I will never see his excited eyes or hear his poems; his voice.
Thomas gives me space, but also consoles me. He holds me closer at night, and makes sure that I start functioning again. One day I console him. "Thomas," I say hoarsely. He rushes over to me quickly. "Yes Love?" He asks, concerned and slightly breathless. "I need to leave. Here. This house. I can't stand it here in this stuffy palace, I need to go somewhere," I feel tears start making their way out of my eyes, and Thomas brushes them away.
He nods. "Well, we can move back into the old house. It might be small, but" I shush him and laugh slightly. His eyes light up, knowing that this is the first time I've laughed since Phillip died.
"Thomas, that house is amazing. It's huge," I say this because Alex and I have lived in a shack our whole lives.
  He smiles at me, and I smile back. I stand up, and kiss him by pulling his collar down. He responds quickly, wrapping his arms around me. I laugh and start piling things back into boxes; a lot of them still hadn't been opened. It was time to go back home.
  [time skip brought to you by the Macaroni Lover]
  Finally. After a few weeks, the boxes were unpacked, and I was back in the cozy house. I have already hung a few paintings and Eliza and Alexander have settled their differences. But it's still not the same.
  I know what he did with Maria. It was awful, and that wasn't all. He emotionally cheated with Angelica. I love that woman, but she was not appropriate with her relationship with my brother. Sometimes I shake my head at her.
  And Laurens. As far as I know, it was only one time, and they were still in the war. It was one night, and Alexander hasn't spoke of it since. I'm not a moron however; I saw the letters he sent.
  But Alexander hasn't spoken of Laurens since he passed away.
  The same way I haven't talked about Phillip since he died. But they're still there, in memories and in the heart.
  Thomas snaps me out of my thoughts.
  "Earth to Y/n," he says, and I smile sadly. He looks at me understandingly. He reaches over to me and I fall into his arms on the couch by the fire.
  It's silent for a while until Thomas  breaks the silence. "It's ok, you know," he says. I look at him confused.
  "It's ok, that you're upset. That you don't want to talk about Phillip. But we need to heal ok? We can't just ignore it," his voice cracks, and I feel the tears in my eyes. I take a shaky breath and nod.
"Its just so hard, Thomas. He's gone, and it's so hard and I've been trying to be there for Eliza, but it hurts," I start bawling and he just holds me until I calm down.
   "We'll be ok, won't we?" I look into his eyes and he smiles at me and hugs me.
  "Of course Love," he tells me. And he tells me that over and over for the next few weeks. Eventually I'm able to return to my position. I actually end up passing a bill in Virginia that makes it so that slave owners are forced to reduce their "discipline." By that I mean that they can't torture their slaves for no reason.
  I think that lights a fire in me. I start writing almost as much as Alexander, and continue to do well in my position. I'm probably going to get elected again. But for now we heal, and hold our loved ones closer than before.
   Because we are strong and we will make it.

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