Charlie

Chapter Twenty-Four: I was so scared

We got back home from Paris exhausted and jet lagged. I think we slept for like twenty hours. I woke up starving for food and for Charlie wink wink. I couldn't get enough of this gorgeous man that was officially mine. He proposed to me in the most beautiful romantic way possible. He also proposed to me with his families' heirloom ring. For him to trust me with something so beautiful so amazing was truly a blessing and an honor.

I knew Charlie wanted to start a family very soon. He told me when he was locked away. I was so stressed with him being away that I stop taking care of myself. I stopped the birth control pills and I was forgetting when I last had my period. So much so that when he finally came home that I thought for a moment that I was actually pregnant. I knew I had to get with the program and go to the OBGYN. I owed this to Charlie because this is what he wanted.

I finally made an appointment with the OBGYN that prescribed my birth control pills. She did an exam on me and wanted me to get back on my birth control pills so that I can go back to regulating my periods. I told her that I wanted to get pregnant and I didn't want to take them. She said that she need to do test first. She need to take a good look up there to see if I was one ovulating and to see if there wasn't anything wrong with me. As much sex as we were having there shouldn't be a reason why I wasn't already pregnant. If there wasn't anything wrong with me they would have to check Charlie out.

School started back up and I couldn't believe I was already on my fourth semester. I knew this summer I was planning on taking one more summer schedule. This would place me a whole year ahead of my planned schedule. I was surprisingly still atop of the Dean's list. I was pretty proud of myself.

These were my next courses that I had to take to get one step closer to earning my degree. I knew I had to continue my education further than just a BA. However, for right now this is what I was focused on. I knew these courses were getting more difficult but it was what I wanted.

However, I'm not sure this is what I want to define myself as anymore. I was going to be a married woman, a significant other, a partner and as for right now a homemaker. I know I wanted to be a mother to our children. Did I still want to live out my dream and go to Egypt? I'm second guessing myself now that I have something to live for Charlie.

• Introduction to Coptic- EGYT 2210 S01

• Readings in Ancient Egyptian- EGYT 2300 S01

• Ancient Egyptian Phonology- EGYT 2800 S01

• Preliminary Examination Preparation - EGYT 2970 S01

Another dreaded day of going to the OBGYN. You would think that my mother would have drilled into my head that an OBGYN could save your life as one did for her many years ago. I guess I was just scared that I could turn out like her. Having to choose between my life and having children. I don't think I could ever put Charlie in that situation. I wonder how my dad felt all those years ago?

Dr. Wall was my OBGYN and she wasn't a great doctor but that was my opinion. She did a vaginal sonogram and she saw that my lining was getting a little thick. This meant that I wasn't shedding enough of my lining when I was having a period. She said this could be the reason why I'm not pregnant yet. She gave me a pill that would help clean some of this lining out. If this didn't fix it I could go back to have further test. I was told to come back in three months if I hadn't gotten pregnant by that time.

Whatever pill that she gave me sucked, it made me bleed like crazy, but I guess it was working because I felt lighter. This wasn't because I was losing more blood, well I was but not a light headed feeling not as bloated. On the days I wasn't bleeding, we were having sex so much that I was literally walking like a crab. Charlie thought it was hilarious. I was in pain, of course we slowed down because I couldn't keep walking like a crab.

Three months came around and I still wasn't pregnant, I was so upset and hurt and crying. I wanted to know why I couldn't get pregnant. Dr. Wall recommended that we figure out when I was the most fertile and not have as much sex. I was confused I thought you had to have a lot of sex to have a baby.

Dr. wall explained that I could be stressed out and having too much sex. I said "Bingo" I told her that we had sex almost daily. "Re-Anne, you need to slow it down a bit. Tell Charlie that as much as he wants you he needs to let your body rest." I laughed so much at that because there would be no way that Charlie would believe me. I had to record Dr. Wall so that he knew I was serious. "Charlie, is it? you need to keep it in your pants. We need for her to get pregnant. This means slowing down their buddy."

Dr. Wall prescribed me an ovulation test. This would tell us when I was most fertile and to plan having sex around those times. If we were really serious about conceiving. When I got home, I told Charlie everything that Dr. Wall told me. As I predicted he didn't believe me. I showed him the video that she made me.

We decided to take conceiving very serious. We only had sex when I was close to ovulating. This was very hard as we were so used to having it regularly. Our sessions got longer as we were depriving ourselves from our madness. It got to the point that we had to plan nothing for the next three days but be home and have sex. We wanted a baby so bad. Two months later and still no baby.

Charlie and I came to the decision that we would just focus on school and if a baby came then it would. I know it hurt him to put making a family on hold. I just knew that school was a priority. My Junior year was the year I had to prove that if I was going to continue my education I had to be within the top five percentiles of my graduating class.

Summer session started a week after my last exam of my fourth semester. I was way advanced in comparison to some of my peers who started with me. If I passed these summer courses I would start the fall semester as a second half Junior. I would be graduating a whole year in advance. I would be class of 2021 and not 2022. However, there was still that nagging feeling in me that wanted to have a baby. To have Charlies baby. I couldn't stop thinking about it.