The Switch (ViceRylle)

11. The Switch Version 1.0

VICE's POV

"Di ba ikaw na nagsabi na di kita maiintindihan? Talagang hindi kita maiintindihan kung bakit di mo maintindihan na gusto kong magkaanak dahil I want to be happy. Gusto kong magsigurado na di ako tatandang mag-isa. I'm getting older Vice. I want to die happy. Why is it hard for you to see me happy? It's hard to understand that you don't understand me. Akala ko kilala na kita at kilala mo na ko. Too bad, I was wrong."

Kasabay ng pagbagsak ng mga luha ko because of the pain I saw in Karylle's eyes ay bumagsak din ang napakalakas na ulan. It's not like I'm savoring the moment, but I just stand there pinapanuod ang papalayong kotse ni Vhong. Pinapanuod ang paglayo ng pinakamahalagang babae sa buhay ko, ang babaeng nasaktan ko.

After K walked out on me with Vhong, umalis na rin ako sa kung saan man ako nakatayo ng oras na yun. I do nothing but give a deep glare on Anne and Billy. I hate them for putting me and K sa situation na hindi pa namin handang harapin. Nagagalit ako kasi parang ang dali dali sa kanilang paglaruan yung feelings namin ni K. They are so insensitive. I know that they have good intentions, but it's not helping. Swear to God, I won't talk to the three of them unless they realize na tao din kame ni Karylle kagaya nila na may sariling isip at desisyon na di nila pwedeng basta basta na lang pangunahan at pakielamanan.

"Why is it hard for you to see me happy? It's hard to understand that you don't understand me."

 

"Why is it hard for you to see me happy? It's hard to understand that you don't understand me."

 

"Why is it hard for you to see me happy? It's hard to understand that you don't understand me."

 

As I was driving home galing sa bar, paulit-ulit na tumatakbo sa isip ko yung mga sinabi ni K. Bakit nga ba di ko sya maintindihan? Am I being too selfish? Sarili ko nga lang ba ang pinoprotektahan ko?

Because I am completely into my deep thoughts, di ko na namalayan na nasa harapan na ko ng building ng condo ko. I don't know kung paano at gaano ako kabilis nakarating doon, basta ang alam ko ay nandito na ko.

Alas otso palang ng gabi kaya marami pang tao akong nadadaanan. I am seeing pairs of eyes on me. Malamang dahil sa itsura ko. Ikaw ba naman makasalubong ng baklang basang basa at humahagulgol na naglalakad sa hallway, di ka ba mapapalingon nun? Wala na kong pakialam. The only thing I cared about now is how to fix things between me and K.

First things first I need to take shower, to wash all the nastiness and anger.

I get it. Wala sa kanya ang problema, nasa akin. She did her part. Actually, she didn't have to apologize. Di nya na kinailangan pang gawin yung mga cheesy moves nya para mag-sorry sa akin. I was completely wrong. Hindi ko dapat sya hinayaang masaktan. Hindi ko dapat hinayaan na maramdaman nya na she doesn't deserve to be happy.

If I would think of someone who deserves all the happiness in the world, it would be K. She is patient. She is kind. She does not envy, does not boast.  She does not dishonor others, she is not selfseeking, she does not easily angered, she forgives and keeps no record of wrongs. She rejoices with the truth. She always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Karylle is love. She deserves to be loved.