Hannah's POV
"Let's go to sleep" nash said as he turned off his laptop. "Go to sleep. I'm gonna relax myself in the tub" i didn't wait for his response i just walked to the bathroom and started filling the tub and strip my clothes off. While i'm waiting for bath tub to fill up i looked at the full body length mirror beside me.
"You worthless girl. You don't even deserve to have a boyfriend like him" i said to myself. Nash is my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We became friends when we're college for awhile and started dating. And decided to live together after college since we got the same job and i didn't want to be near my family anymore. Don't get me wrong. I love my family. I just had enough already for living with them for almost 23 years.
"Your family doesn't even like you" i said again as my eyes started to water up. My older siblings would always mock me saying when i was born our family lost everything.
They said my family is one of the richest person in our town. And my siblings said when i was born they lost all the money. I didn't even have the normal type of 1st Birthday party which consists of huge balloons. Huge cake. Plenty of food and gifts. My 2nd birthday party is the last party i had. "Just Die" i said as i look away from the mirror and stopped the water. The water is warm. And i like it. Just then i dip my foot into the bath tub and afterwards i found my body relaxing at the hot tub. But my mind and heart isn't. Every night i would cry like this. But i try not to cry loud cause i don't wanna wake nash up And asking god.
Why am i even born?they said when you have a problem it's because god gave it and he knows that we can get over this problem. But i'm not. I give up. I've been handling this problem my entire life. I Am not tough enough to live like this anymore. Yes i wanna die but for some reason i don't wanna leave nash behind. I closed my eyes and just let my tears fell. When i feel like i can't cry anymore i got out and wrap a towel. And i brushed my teeth and wash my face. I quietly opened the door knowing nash is asleep. But i was wrong.
He's sitting at our ned watching tv. "Why are you not asleep yet?" i asked. Without looking at him. I know the lights are off. But he will see my eyes got smaller from a light that's coming from the tv. "I was waiting for you" he said while sitting in his pjs. Looks like he already cleaned himself. Yes. We have seperate bathrooms. I don't know about this guy he said girls takes forever in a bathroom. So he found this house with 2 bathrooms in one bedroom. I walk to my closet and change into my pjs. Brushed my hair and went beside nash. He turned the tv off and grabbed my waist and we cuddled to sleep.
I think nash is asleep cause he's breathing heavy. I couldn't sleep. I actually don't really sleep.
I started thinking about my life again. I miss my family. But their not acting as a family to me. I turned over to face nash.
I trailed his cheeks,hair,nose and lips. Nash is so lucky he have a happy family. Everytime i look at him with his family all i can see is pure happiness. He's so lucky. I wish i have that kind of family.
I started sobbing again. Which made nash woke up "babe what's wrong?" he said and hugged me. "Sorry if i wake you up. I just. Couldn't help it" i said and hugged him back. "Is it your family again?" ofcourse he knew my story. I told him. And ever since i told him. He make me feel like his family are my family too. The griers make me feel loved. Unlike my own family that treats me like crap. That's just one of the things i love about him. He cares for me. "What's wrong with me?" i asked as i cried in nash's arms. He rubbed my back. "Shh. Don't cry. Nothings wrong with you bae.They just can't realize that you're important to them. " "No nash. I'm not important. I just bought bad luck to my family. I regret that i was born. I regret that i'm still alive." I said. I have more words but i couldn't speak anymore. I'm crying so hard that it made me breath hardly. "No babe. Shh. Never regret anything. YOu're beautiful and if your a piece of jewelry you'll be the one i'll never ever lost. You mean so much to me. You're always there for me. And i promise you. I'm here for you. Everynight i will just wake up in the middle of the night and hear you cry until you fell asleep. If your family doesn't like you? then so what. Look around. Millions of people loves you. Remember when we were in college. My fans adores you. We all love you hannah. " I stopped crying as i heard nashes words. I hugged him and pecked his lips "thank you for keeping me strong babe. Thank you for being there for me. It's hard for me but i will just try and forget about what's happening with my family and me. You're right. I should've look around me. And see all of you and your fans and our who loves me. I love you nash" i said as he wipes the tears out of my face. "Now don't ever say nobody likes you okay?" he said and i nodded. It's so sweet for him to be there for me. Before i knew it. I fell into a deep sleep where nothing is wrong.
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