I choose You

Chapter 23

Beam POV

I don't know how long I have been sleeping. I remembered that I saw Forth yesterday. Nonetheless,  I see no one in this room. I'm trying to find Forth, but there is no his trace. Maybe he has gone home. Nevertheless, I feel better since my head doesn't hurt anymore. But I start feeling hungry.

What time is it?

I see a clock on the wall near the door. It's 2AM. Oh my God. I slept more than twelve hours then?!

No wonder Forth leave me here. He will have class tomorrow. Sad.

I can't blame on Forth about his action this afternoon. He did not do anything wrong. It was so awkward between us. Maybe you think it is normal for couple to not communicate for few days because of study or work, but it's not in our case.

I and Forth have been through this situation almost two month. No date. No romantic word. No hug. No kiss. No other affections. Every time we meet, the question is only "how was your class?" or "Do you have new assignment?" . Even if we care to each other, it is only "don't skip your meal,"

Both I and Forth are aware that we can't say "don't stay up late," or "take it slow" to each other because we know that this semester is the crucial stage of our study. We face the same critical projects which take our time more.

People out there might think that we are too serious about our relationship.  However, Forth and I never think it as a joke either. We fall in love and can't be separated. Unfortunately, the bond between us has been loose since we rarely talk to each other. I realize that we need to give some times to talk again, just small talk like we usually do, but it seems like difficult to do so in this hectic situation.

I can't sleep again as I did for more than twelve hours. I'm fully awake until I see it is 6:30. Someone open the door slowly in order to not make noise. At first, I thought it was a nurse who wanted to check my condition. Instead, that person is Forth. He wears black shirt and his faculty jacket.

Is he allowed to visit at this time? Isn't it too early?

"Beam.... are you already awake?" He sits beside my bed, and touches my forehead. "Ah... luckily, your body isn't warm anymore. Yesterday, you looked pale and you were sweaty when we brought you here."

"Ah....."

"You made me worry, Beam." Forth kisses my hand. "Fortunately, the doctor said there is nothing serious about your condition. He suggested you need to have enough sleep. He assumed that you got headache because of lack of sleep and eat, which later caused stress leading to low blood pressure and tension-type headache." He smiles at me. He looks relieved.

"Are you hungry? I bought porridge for you.  You should eat." He takes the porridge out and feeds me.  I eat slowly as my mouth still tastes bitter.

After I finish it all, the atmosphere becomes awkward again. 

"Beam,"

"Forth,"  we talk at the same time.

"......"

"You should talk then," I don't like this situation.

Forth looks at me for few seconds. "No... you can talk first , Beam."

"I know you have a lot to say. Just spit it out, Forth."  I say.

Ahhh... It's the time for  discussing our relationship,  then.

"Okay... I...." Forth takes a deep breathe, "I'm sorry about yesterday." He looks sad, and I can't say anything except, "It's okay, Forth."

"You know.... since the beginning of this semester, I miss you so bad. I always want to call you or run toward your dorm every evening after my classes. Yet, I realize that you are busy with your study and I hate the idea you won't be able to study if I were there. I tried my best to distance myself from you; reducing the number of message sent to you and not having video call before I sleep which in fact, those things made me frustrated. You know... yesterday, when I saw your face after ten days being apart, the first thing I wanted to do was to hug you. But I remembered that we were in my faculty, and I didn't want my friend to tease you, so I held back myself to talk to you." Forth stopped for awhile.