Lasting Love

Jordyn

Jordan was silent after Jordyn admitted that she still loved him.That she'd never lost that love .

But as he helped her get settled into the recliner Jordan said nothing.

Thankful that it wasn't actually a small recliner but a love seat that reclined ,Jordan slid onto it behind her. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around Jordyn's waist pulling her closer to his body so that her head rested against his chest.

"Is this ok ?"

Jordyn silently nodded sighing as she snuggled closer to his body. It felt as if they'd never been apart.

"I never stopped loving you either Jordy " he admitted softly.

Rubbing her back with one hand Jordan settled back on the recliner ,reached over and pulled the blanket over them.

"Where do we go from here ?" Jordyn asked him softly.

"Where ever you want us to go. I won't make the same mistake a second time. "

"Why are you retiring ?"

"Nice avoidance tactic "Jordan murmured trying not to become irritated

"I'm scared J .I'm scared to let you in. To fall again. You weren't there to catch me when I fell the first time. I can't guarantee you will be there this time.I'm so scared of losing you again . Of you leaving unexplained again like I mean nothing. Like I'm not good enough "

Jordan cupped her cheek in his palm

"I'm the one who isn't good enough for you.Never have been. But somehow thank god you entered my life and became my best friend , and the love of my life . But my young egotistical selfish ass didn't even see it."

He tightened his arms around Jordyn feeling content for the first time in such a long time that he hadn't even remembered when . Jordan thought he felt it with Emily but soon realized he was way off. The one night's stands definitely hadn't filled any voids just increased the complications of his life.

"I missed this " Jordyn murmured "I missed how you made me feel when you held me."

"Do you still feel it ?" he whispered nuzzling her neck , his voice full of hope.

Jordyn felt exposed. Her emotions all over the place .For the first time in years she felt raw.

She fell in love with Jordan when they were kids. He started as her neighbor when she and her family moved three houses down from his. They became friends quickly .He became her crush even quicker.When Jordan returned her feelings she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.Jordan had become her everything by the time he'd made love to her for the first time she would've done anything he asked her to.

Jordan was her forever. She believed that then and laying in his arms now made Jordyn even more sure that they belonged together still but she was terrified to let him again , to leave herself open to him again.

Jordy stayed quiet for so long Jordan thought her pain medication kicked in ,causing her to doze off.

"Yes " it came out in barely a whisper

"Jordy I thought you'd dozed off ."

"No J ,just thinking "

"About ?"

"How good it feels to be in your arms again and wondering if I'm dreaming"

Jordan kissed her neck

"If it was a dream you wouldn't smell like bleach "

Jordyn groaned "I know I need a fucking shower but with this thing it's gonna be impossible"

"Haven't you ever heard of a bread bag ?"

"Shut up I meant because of the pain meds and staggering upstairs "

Jordan slid out from behind her , she felt the loss of comfort and heat from his body instantly.

Jordyn felt his strong arms come up under her body as she was lifted in his arms

"Let me help you ,love "

Once upstairs Jordan flipped on the water letting the tub fill.

He slid the bag Jordyn hadn't even seen him grab.

Once Jordan secured it around her arm he stepped back nervously

"I uh Do you need help getting settled in ?"

"Jordan it's not like you haven't seen it all before and you know damn well I can't get this shirt over the cast without help"

Saying nothing Jordan inched closer and began undressing her .

He gently lifted her in the tub after adding some of the scented bubble bath she kept on the side of the tub.Inhaling deeply Jordan recognized the scent immediately as he swallowed hard.

"Yea that's the same one J .I've always used it . "

Jordan picked up her shampoo and the cup he'd brought in with him

"Head back "

"Jor-"

"Head back " he murmured

Jordyn laid her head back against the tub as Jordan poured warm water over her head. Setting the cup down he squeezed shampoo onto the top of her head . He massaged her scalp as he worked the shampoo in. Jordyn moaned involuntarily at the feel of his touch.

What's wrong with me ? He's the same guy who plucked your bra , the same guy who laughed at you when you threw a box of tampons at his head because he laughed at you for being a girl. The same lovable ,adorable guy who awkwardly kissed you when you were kids , the same guy who took your virginity , the same guy who your heart has always belonged to

Jordan instructed her to tilt her head back again and again she didn't comply.

"Jordy "

"What ? Huh? Shit did you say something ?"

"Head back and what's wrong ?"

Jordyn tilted her head back as he asked and shrugged.

"No you don't get to brush this off " he told her as he picked up her loofah and began washing her back.

"You showed up and suddenly my life is turned all over the fucking place again"

Jordan continued washing her stopping when he got to her breasts

Offering the loofah Jordan figured she would want to wash certain areas herself.

"J I-I'm sorry that was rude "

They stared at each other

"J I didn't mean it to come out like that I'm just so fucking scared"

Dropping the loofah into the tub Jordan wrapped his arms around her.The water sloshed at the action soaking his shirt .

"I know I haven't been what I promised but I can't keep apologizing Jordy .I missed out on our son's life , a life with you. All of our plans I know I fucked them up but we can only move forward if we stop living in the past.If you can't do that baby we'll never get anywhere .I'm wiling to do whatever you need me to do , be whoever you want me to be but please just give me the chance to do that instead of condemning me "