Breaking Slowly // h.s. au

Chapter One

-------WARNING:::: I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS TWELVE. FUCKING TWELVE. TURN BACK NOW ITS TOO PAINFUL TO WITNESS BUT IF YOU LIKE SHITTY DRAMA THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT...HEY YA KNOW FINE. ---------/This is my first serious book here on wattpad. It's probably horrible. I don't blame you if you delete it but I have other books that are more recent and better developed. Please check them out. Cheers lovelies xx

Chapter One

*Elsie*

Songs-

One last time- Jaymes Young

All I want- Kodaline

Feather on the Clyde- Passenger

Let her go- Passenger

I never thought it would be this way. I never thought on a Thursday afternoon I would be walking home alone in the rain. I never thought I would be holding my jacket tighter so I didn't fall limp on the pavement. I never thought that I would be fighting my heavy eyelids and the tears frozen under them. I never thought it would be this way.

I stumble over the dip in the sidewalk and feel my body shake as I balance myself. I can't feel my god damn legs anymore and I know that when I get home my mom would help... but she won't be home. She can't know. No one can.

They kicked really hard this time. I would have congratulated them on the placement because I can still feel the pain tingling up the back of my legs and into my hips. But how could I do that when they left me in the school parking lot behind a tree. That's their favorite spot, the tree, it's some type of willow I don't exactly know which. The leaves are lush and the branches stiff. It's a cage. They usually take me and drag me through the thin opening towards the back. Then there is the open space to beat me in whichever way they please. Today my rib cage feels like it must be crumbling under the thin skin of my torso.

The air in my lungs flows in and out of my nearly lifeless body in shaky waves that make my stomach ache. How could it come to this? Just because I was different...

It's a shame I couldn't have been stronger. I didn't go to those self-defense classes mom said I should have taken. I didn't learn to defend myself against my brothers wrestling when we were younger, I would just run and hide behind mom's legs. I am weak and they know that.

The bag on my shoulders is tensing the sore muscles beneath them. It is sending sharp pains through my right arm and out my fingers. I keep checking to see that it doesn't draw more blood than it already has, it never does. It always stays underneath the skin and hides there so no one can feel it but me. Bruises are the dangerous middle ground where it will fade in a week or so but I will still feel it there, if blood was drawn it would take more than a week to heal and everyone would know. At least that's what I used to think. I used to think that only after I bled would everyone finally see. I was wrong. They already see. They just ignore it.

The bag I have been dragging for the last hour is released off my shoulder. Relief spreads through my body until I see the mess of school books laying on the damp sidewalk. Fucking hell.

Shitty Parkston High textbooks everywhere.

I sigh and drop down on my knees. They ache but not as much as my ribs and shins. The cold ground feels comforting on my skin as I place the books and pens that spilt onto the cold cement back into my bag. I stayed after school to try and delay their torture and ended up getting it all out of the way. Of course it was to no avail and they came after me even though I tried. I tried so damn hard to get away.

I have to just stop thinking about it. It will only make tomorrow worse. Fridays are always bad because they want to remind me when they're not there to cause more.