Breaking Slowly // h.s. au

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

*Elsie*

Songs-

Midnight- Coldplay

Don't- Ed Sheeran

Last Hope- Paramore

That's What You Get- Paramore

"Emilia?" Mara's voice still echoes through my head.

"Elsie, go upstairs." Jens says looking down at the ground. Her soft voice has become hoarse as the tears pool in her throat.

"But Mom-," I protest still a little too shocked to move.

"Elsie." She barks. Jen never yells. And Mara never cries. And I never hear about my sister.

I sprinted from my position at the table and ran into my room. The silence is deafening. The last time I talked to my sister was two years ago. That was the last time I saw her. But this all started when I was twelve.

I found out a year later that Jen and Mara had been in silent fight with Emilia. I didn't even know. I remember Emilia taking me out when I was twelve. It was the summer and I hadn't a clue that my world was going to be falling apart. She took me to this little ice cream place I used to go when I was younger.

Our age difference is fourteen years. It's complicated...

She enrolled in university when I was four and that created the distance, half way across the country type of distance. I still loved her with everything I had. I'd see her maybe four times a year and spend the holidays with her. Everything was fine, at least I thought it was.

Anyway, she pulled up to this little ice cream place with her glass tear stained eyes and her tousled curls. She put the shit car in park and rested her head against the steering wheel before looking at me and whispering something that never seemed to leave me "not everyone makes it out Elsie". I just stared at her with my jaw slacked.

What was that supposed to even mean?

She got out of the car and dried her eyes, after that things seemed normal. Until that night when we got home. Jen and Mara were silent as Emilia dropped me off at the door.

When I found out about the fight I learned that that morning my sister had gone to therapy with Jen and Mara. That's why she was in tears. That's why she said those things. That's what everything was. Why everything happened.

I cried for a really long time and over the next three years I slowly forgot about being close to my sister. Then when I was fifteen she left and never came back. Didn't tell us where she was going. Didn't call us to let us know she was okay. It was the end.

The walls of my bed room look small as I sit by the window and stare out into the dark now cluttered with stars and streetlights. Why did she call? What does she want?

My phone starts buzzing against the wood of my bedside table and I very ungracefully stand to go grab it.

"Hello?" I say into the receiver, not bothering to check the caller ID

"Hey Else." Harry's raspy voice sounds through the phone. Silence.

"H-hey." I say shakily.

"Are you okay?" He asks with worry lacing his tone.

"Am I ever?" I laugh lightly as the words slip through my lips.