Breaking Slowly // h.s. au

Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Seven

*Harry*

Songs-

Fuck You- Lilly Allen

Boomerang- The Summer Set

Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls

Riptide- Vance Joy

What have I done?

As soon as I see her weak body limp away from the willow I'm frozen. My eyes are heavy with smothering tears that give away how weak I am. She's right. I don't have the right to cry- because I just broke every promise I ever made to her.

I am so sick of playing this part. I don't want to pretend I'm fucking Jane. I don't want to pretend it's okay for my best mate to hit Elsie. I don't want to do it. But I'm too much of a pussy to do anything about it.

He's my best mate. He's become a monster but when I see him all I can remember is being a little kid and growing up with him.

He's changed.

I know that. It hurts that he's become such a psychopath.

I want Elsie to be okay. I want her to be happy and safe and I want to just kiss her and hold her. But I've fucked her up enough haven't I? I'm not good at this shit and today just proved that.

I should just leave her alone...

Wait.

Fuck. What if she does something? What if she hurts herself? What if more happens...? What that hell am I gonna do if she dies? I love her. I'll leave her alone if she needs but I can't lose her.

My thumbs are moving faster than my mind as I send a rushed jumble of words that I just hope she'll accept. Because I do love her and I'm a jackass but I'll try my hardest to fix that as long as she'll be okay.

I don't know what happened today. I choked. And now I'm not the one suffering; she is. I wish it was me. I wish I could take her pain and inflict it on myself.

But I can't.

Oh Jesus Christ what am I gonna do?

I need her with me. I miss her standing here even though she was hurt and angry. I miss knowing she's safe and having her within arms reach.

I dial her number and hold the phone impatiently to my ear.

Her voicemail plays over and over but I just keep dialing her number, waiting for her to pick up so I can profess what a huge mistake I have made.

"You've reach Elsie Wrenn- you know what to do." Beep. Hearing her voice sends shivers down my spine as I think of how much I want her to be standing here next to me.

I don't bother leaving a message. I don't have an audible voice at the moment.

What if I'm losing her?

*****

*Elsie*

His lips are soft and he smells good. Like smoke mixed with his cologne. His thumbs run along my cheeks.

"Elsie." He nearly moans. I pull away and look him in the eyes, "What? What's wrong?"

"I- I'm sorry." I mumble looking down.