Breaking Slowly // h.s. au

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

*Elsie*

Songs-

Shark In The Water- VV Brown

Write Your Own Story- Francesca Battistelli

What You Wanted- One Republic

Fix You- Coldplay

Why am I here?

Why is my heart crumbling into my chest as the ass who can't be there for me rubs my back and tries to comfort me, merely an hour before he's supposed to go fuck someone else?

Like- Are you shitting me?

Everyone always says you have to deal with the hand you were dealt- but you have to admit I was given a fucking nightmare to cope with.

I can't sit here being soothed by someone who confuses me more than- well me.

I feel the tears dry on my cheeks as I squeeze my lids shut and sit up so I'm not longer relying on his support- ironic right? I would laugh but my throat feeling like I've been stabbed repeatedly and I'm sputtering for air. Maybe in a figurative sense I have been.

I hug my knees to my chest and shake my head.

"You're not gonna do it- are you..." I croak.

I look over at him and sniffle in the rest of the tears riddling my eyes. Once his emotionless face reacts to my half statement with a fiery sadness I look away.

"What- no Elsie I wanna try." He says snapping my eyes to his by gently as possible hooking his fingers under my chin and turning me to him.

"I'm sick of you saying that." I shake my head and stand from my curled position, "I'm sick of you putting me in this position, I want to trust you Harry- and unfortunately I do... but how do I know that you're gonna try?" I wipe off my jeans and lean my weight against the tree as Harry looks down in defeat.

My eyes swell with new tears.

He gets up from his slumped position against the tree and stands in front of me, his green eyes burning into mine with a passionate fire.

"You don't." He presses his forehead to mine and I try to create distance but just end up pressing my aching head further into the rough bark.

There's a pause. A moment where I can hear the leaves rustle and my feet shift anxiously under me.

"But Else I really want to try- you just have to understand that it's hard." He's looking straight into my eyes and telling me that it's hard on him? What about me? What does he think it's like for me?

"What about me?" I nearly whisper, "I can't do this anymore Harry."

"Please just let me." He takes my hand as I'm pressed up against the tree. I squirm from his grip as the words hit me. As if I have a choice at what he decides to do.

"Harry I have no choice- I don't have the power to 'let' you do anything. You have to decide to the right thing and stop them because I don't know how much more I can take." I feel the stream of tears burn my cheeks.

"I don't want you hurt- you know that." His voice is riddled with pain- more like guilt.

"Show me." I say looking down before slipping past him, "When that happens come find me." I shove past the stray leaves in the entrance and leave Harry frozen in the cage that has become our sanctuary.