toxic

three words

i heard foot steps behind me as i buried my face into my knees.

"hey finnick." i said, not even turning around.

he sat beside me and wrapped his arm around me. "i'm so sorry."

"why are you apologizing? you didn't do anything."

he looked down.
"are you okay?"

i shot my head up, in tears.
"am i okay? did you just ask that? yeah i'm totally fine that i have to fight for my life again."

he looked hurt.

"i'm sorry. i just can't imagine...we're both going into that arena, ya know. you're the only male victor from your District and im the only female victor."

"maybe we can both make it out."
he said, pulling me into a hug.

"how?"

"maybe the way Katniss and Peeta did last year. i don't know."

"Snow and Plutarch won't fall for that again."

i looked down tearfully.

finnick grabbed my chin and lifted my head before kissing me.

now was the time.

i pulled away from the kiss after a few minutes.

"i love you." i whispered.

he stopped. he had no emotion.

i narrowed my eyebrows.
aren't you gonna day it back?
i thought.

he sighed.

"what?"

he shook his head and brushed his fingers through his hair.

"finnick, tell me what's wrong!"
i shouted, standing up.

"brook, i can't get into this tonight!" he gripped onto his hair and hopped up after me,

"it's been six years, finnick! don't you realize how hurt that makes me? you've never said it, why?"

"listen Brook, i do love you, i do, i was just..."

"i should've known i never had a chance with 'charming trident master'."

"no, no. brook! that's not how it is, it promise, i..."

"you're hiding something, i can tell! i can't do this anymore, finnick!"

he took a step closer and griped my hands.

"listen to me. i love you. you know i love you. i was just scared. i'm not hiding a thing from you. i wouldn't ever do that. come on, Brooky. you know me."

i closed my eyes as a tear fell down my cheek.

i let him kiss me.

"i gotta go home. good night."

"i'll walk you," he offered.

i shook my head.
"thats okay. goodnight."

i looked at finnick one last time and walked away