toxic

Hard Decisions

I stayed in bed all that day.
I haven't had nightmares in a while
Why?
Because I had Finnick beside me.

Now I didn't.
And I did have a nightmare.

A nightmare that had Finnick in it.

We were walking around the arena, in the Quarter Quell when Finnick showed his true side.
The side that wanted me killed.

Right before he could throw the trident at me and here my cannon, I woke up. Screaming. I had that dream three times in just a few hours.

Now this morning, I had to take the interview: next to Finnick.
Because everyone knew that we were going back into that arena.

"Brooklynn, honey. Can I come in?" Asked Alba.

"Yea." I mumbled.

She opened the door with a fake smile on her face.

"Do you need more time or-."

"I'll do the interview." I said, interrupting her.

She smiled. "Outfit is in your closet. Brush your teeth and I'll fix your hair."

I did as she said.
Brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, washed my face.

After a while, she did my hair, makeup, and nails and helped me into my outfit.

It was a simple top that showed off my shoulders and tight jeans with boots.

"You look gorgeous, darling."
Said my mom as she walked into the kitchen.

"Thanks mom." I said with a fake smile.

"Look at me." She could tell i was hurting. "He's not worth it, ya hear?"

I nodded and left the house with everyone trailing behind.

I ran into Finnick on the way.
I wanted to greet him.
Hug him. Kiss him.
Tell him I love him.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't even look at him.

"Brook!" I heard his voice coming closer but ignored it.

"Brook, please! I have to-."

Next thing I heard was Clayton's voice.

"If you come near her one more time, I'll kill you."

I shook my head.

"Just...let us talk." I whispered.

Clayton sighed and nodded.

"Brook, we have to go." Penia informed me. Alba and Penia now knew what Finnick had been hiding. Alta told them earlier.

"I'll be right behind you."

I let them keep walking as I stood beside Finnick. Nothing but silence.

"You look beautiful." He said.

"Thanks." I whispered, barely audible.

"Brook. What is Alta talking about? She keeps on saying that you don't want to talk to me and I don't know what to think about it. Is this about yesterday in the woods?"

I shook my head.
"No, Finnick."

"Why do you hate me all of a sudden?"

"No! The real question is why do you hate me?"

"What? Of coarse I don't hate you. What has gotten into you lately? You think I don't love you, you think I hate you."

"Maybe because of that agreement you made with Snow!" I screamed.

"Brook..." was the only thing he said.

"Yes, don't act so surprised. Alta knew and she told me everything."

"What do you mean everything?" He asked in a frightened tone.

"About putting 1,000 slips of my name in the bowl. Becoming my mentor, 'falling in love with me', helping me win the games. Knowing the envelope that Snow was going to open at the Quell. Killing me."

The last part I whispered.

Don't cry, don't cry.

"Brook. Listen I-."

"You what? And please don't say that you didn't make a pact with Snow."

"Ok, I did. I'm not going to lie to you." He admitted.

"You knew my name was in that bowl 1000 times?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes." He whispered.

"You knew about the Quell announcement?"

He nodded again.

"And you told him you'd kill me?"

He was silent but finally said,
"Yes i did, But that was before I actually met you. You have no idea. At first I thought it'd be easy to have you fall in love with me and win the games so yes, I'll admit, at first it was an act. But when I was taking that shrimp out of your hair, I felt something different. That night you were drunk, it kept getting stronger. That's why I regretted it. I regretted putting you through that and I regretted making that pact with Snow. I should've never agreed on the Quell announcement and I'm sorry. I do love you. You have to believe me. Please." He was in tears.

I wanted to believe him and maybe I did but this could be another trick.

"I love you Finnick."

He smiled.

"But i can't do this anymore."

His face changed quickly.

I slowly slipped off the ring that he gave me the day of the games and put it in his hand. I held in tears as I turned around and strolled off.

"Brook, no...pl-."

"Come on Finnick, we have an interview to attend."

I tried not to cry but before I knew it, a tear was falling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away so it wouldn't mess up my makeup.

Finnick slowly walked behind me.

That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.