See I always thought that I would be alone forever. I thought that because of all the weird stuff it is that I do. I figure since I was so weird, nobody would find me interesting or would want to be with me. So I just stayed back and watched as everyone got coupled up and I stayed on the sidelines. Waiting. Anticipating. Hoping that one day I would get recognized by somebody. Then one day, when I was in the 7th grade, I found courage. The first time I asked out my crush. We were at lunch and I was in front of my friends. I told them not to expect anything really because I just knew they would say no. And like I expected, they said no. Then in the 8th grade that same person, we grew closer than you could ever expect. It started more on our first field trip to the woods. They were scared of bugs, so I “protected” them from the bugs. And then there was the field trip to the movies. Yet I still couldn’t make a move like the year before. Because I already knew the answer. Then I went on to my next to crush. I decided to be sweet with it and be their secret admirer. Everyday around lunch, I would put a sticky note on their locker saying something sweet or complimenting them. The smile that came across their face made my day everytime. But I guess I wasn’t enough because later on I found out that they were dating another person. So there goes my chance. That’s when I truly started to think that I would be alone forever. Nobody would love me, like me, or even show a type of interest in me. Soon I started to talk less, become distant with my friends, that were all in relationships. I just couldn’t take it anymore. All the lovey-dovey stuff people had did. Then there was one person that I really did think I had a chance with but they ended up leaving the school before I could do anything. We had so much in common. And we were so much alike it was unbelievable. But I guess the universe just knew that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, or that I will never find my soulmate. It got to where my mom started asking why I haven’t brought anybody home. Well mom when you take the fact that nobody shows interest in me and that I barely have friends as is now, you would see that I will never bring anyone home. But that all changed for me when I switched schools. Yes for me in my head I was already thinking, “Great another school, full of people I don’t know, that most likely won’t like me because I’m weird and it’s going to be just like my old school all over again.” For the first part of school, I mostly kept to myself. Didn’t really talk to kids unless it was needed and I tried to stay away for the most part. When it came to lunch I sat by myself for the first couple weeks before I finally made a friend that I could sit with all the time. I had at least one friend in every class. Life was good. Until my friends started to leave me in my 6th hour. Soon I was just left with one. Until she came along. It was like the wind was knocked out of me and came back all in one. She was a sight for sore eyes to see. When I saw her, my heart did anything you could imagine. Kicks, flips, jumping jacks, summersaults. You name it. And my stomach was no better either. You know how you get those butterflies in stomach? Well mine was filled with a whole zoo. The way the sun hit her hazel green eyes was just perfect. She was perfect. And I knew that I would never get a chance with her. I was me and she was her. It was like the sun and the moon. She was a ray of light while I was a black abyss. She was a ball of smiles and sunshine, while the only time I smiled was when a kid made a mistake or hurt themselves. Yeah we both existed but on two totally different times. It just wouldn’t be. It couldn’t be. But my mind was changed after one special night. It was in this night we kissed and shared a connection that felt so unreal. Then we started to become closer than ever and when I finally had the courage, I asked her out. And even though it wasn’t the way I wanted to, I’m still happy she said yes. Been together for a month and still going strong. I’ve only ever felt this way only once and to feel that same feeling again helped me to know that she might be the one. She might be my soulmate. Maybe I’m getting a little too ahead of myself but I can still hope, right? But hey what do I know? I’m just a kid hoping to make it through life without any problems, that I know will come up anyway. But I really do hope to spend it with her for a long time.
