When you feel a deep caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Sorrow. I remember the first time I truly felt what it was like to be sorrow. It was during my birthday. Well more or less when my birthday was coming up and passing by. Anyways, I found out maybe two or three weeks before my birthday that I had lost one of my great grandparents. And of course like any other child, I cried and wept because of it. Then I think maybe a day or two after my birthday I found out that I had lost another one of my great grandparents. Now with this one, I still cried but not as much because I didn't really get to bond with them as much as I wanted to or should have. But I still cried, because I started to regret not being able to spend time with them and getting to know them more because according to my mom, I had only seen her when I was little. Then I believe maybe a month later I found out that I lost another one of my great grandparents. This one though was my favorite. Every time I would come down and see them, he would always get me shrimp and we'd watch cartoons together all day. When I lost him, it was such a heart breaking moment for me. We had so many special times together and sadly I can't make any more times with him, but at least I can reminisce the time and the memories we have had with each other. It was during that year I was at my lowest. Never in my life time had I lost so many people in such a short time. It was hard for me. Having to deal with it. But soon enough I got over it and was back to the way I was before.Now let us fast forward like six months later, life's somewhat decent now. That is until I find out that my cousin on my dad's side has past away. The sad part is that when I found out, it was maybe two weeks after he died and I found out from my mom. Yeah, you would think that my dad would have told me or I would've at least heard from my grandpa but nope. Nobody. But what still makes me so confused is that nobody knows how he died. Like it was just out of nowhere. He just came up dead. Now this last one it was very hard hitting. Like to me this is the true definition of some things go away too fast for you to really cherish them. I think maybe three weeks prior, I was taking the city bus to my school because my school wanted to be petty and say that I wasn't part of the school district since I was a street out of it. But anyways, I was on the bus and I was simply minding my business until someone had sat next to me. And that's when I had seen that it was my cousin on my mom's side. We had talked up until it was time for me to get off at my stop. I said bye and then got and went to school and went on with my life because I knew it would be a while before I would see him again. I guess I'll have to wait a whole lot longer. Then school let us out for break and I had known that my grandparents on my dad side would be coming out to me to celebrate my birthday. So my younger cousin who's actually not that young, came over to spend the night with me the day before my birthday. So you know how it usually is with your favorite family members, it's always fun and you never get tired of them. So as soon as it hits midnight, me and her are getting hyped because I'm finally fourteen now and all that good stuff and then about an hour later my mom comes in the room with news. She says that my cousin that I had seen not too long ago has died. My cousin and I look at each other in denial because it was just so hard for us to believe. Then we busted out crying, not being able to hold in our tears. But for me it was bad. I was tired of everyone dying around me. Tired of having to deal with the loss and pain I had to deal with all the time. I ended up getting really mad. Like so mad, I began to hyperventilate and ball my fist up. I was squeezing my hand so much, I began to cut through my skin. My mom had to try and calm me down but it wasn't really working. I was so close to punching a wall. But I kept my cool, sorta. I was shaking and quiet the whole night. My mom tried to talk to me, get me to say something but I was pretty much mute. I was just trying to collect my thoughts. But the thing that really messed me up was when my grandparents came and my mom told me to go. After the fact I found out my cousin was dead. I mean I'm up for getting my head away but it was bad because I couldn't spend my day with the people I love.
