You remember when you were in school and you had a hand-written assignment to do. And for some reason you kept making mistakes so kept erasing and re-writing? You know how the paper became too thin and eventually you made a hole had to get a whole new piece of paper. And remember the feeling you had when you had to rewrite the whole story over again?...Now imagine that piece of paper was someone’s heart...Moral of the story: get it right before you make that irreparable hole you can’t “write” there anymore. It’s amazing how much you tend to find out a person by spending so little time with them. Don’t let your past define who you are, but define why your whole. I wished I had loved them in the way you're meant to love another person. Not in the way that I define devotion but in the way they did. Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting on something that isn’t going to happen. I played myself. I played with fire and now I’m getting burned. I lost. I should’ve known love is just a meaningless word that hurts your soul. I feel like all the years I believed in love were dreadful. I wasted my time. When you love, you get hurt. You’ll get hurt too deep that flames explode. Otherwise if you don’t love or simply don’t believe in that word you’ll be okay. Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. It's crazy how replaceable you are to them but not vice versa. To actually be confronted with somebody taking your spot, doing the things you used to do. It’s insane how things can change, how weird feelings are. Heartbreak was the impetus to me writing poems along with other feelings in the first place. Over the years, I had my heart broken so badly that if I didn't find a way to get all the pain out, I was going to lose my mind. Like, wanting to slash tires and smash car windows. I was so hurt that I had to write. But I also think all of the great stories in literature that deal with loneliness, heartbreak, and pain. Sometimes it's by way of heartbreak, sometimes it's by way of injustice, sometimes it's by way of fate. There's an infinite number of ways to examine it. Broken relationships are a source of heavy heartbreak that seem to affect every family. Sometimes a little heartbreak is a lesson, and the best thing to do is just learn the lesson. I think heartbreak is something that you learn to live with as opposed to learn to forget. You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big bummer. But soon enough that person is going to crawl back to you asking for your forgiveness and you’re going to want to give it to them and you’ll be back in the same place you were in at first. And your only excuse “It’s because I love them too much to let them go.” Well apparently they don’t love you enough if they are able to go behind your back and hang out with someone else. It makes me sad how hung up people can be when their lover leaves them but can’t seem to just let go and find someone that can be better than them but it’s also sad when you knew you were doing something wrong to that person and you are not being truthful to them. How can you even look someone in the eye, someone that you love in the eye and say that you are not doing this or doing that but in reality, behind their back you are? It makes no sense if you’re so truthful to them but hide stuff from them when they ask you. But the thing that gets me the most is how are you ever possibly able to out of love with someone? And if it's been a couple of days then yeah you need time to prepare. But when it comes to weeks, months, even years and you know that you can’t be with this person break it of before they get even more because you already know it’s happening then soon enough it's the people you hang out with most of the time and then the person you fell out of love with will know and will wait. They will wait and wait for you to tell them that you can’t be with them anymore. When you're 16 or 17, I think like most people that age, the first time you experience certain things in life, whether it's heartbreak or love, obviously it's going to seem like a much bigger deal than what it will seem to be. I Know I’m only thirteen about to be fourteen writing about this stuff but I understand this stuff. I like to observe instead of actually playing the game. I am a very sensitive person and once you hit a spot I start to crumble but once you hit it again I’m a goner. I have high hopes for me.
