Now that I have expressed myself in a way that is beneficial for me, I'm going to say more about me. I tend to do stupid things on most occasions but I don't mean to. And I also say stupid things a lot too. I have a filter, I just don't use it like I should be doing. I'm a very sensitive person. Like really sensitive. Say if somebody were to say something like really mean and rude but they were just playing, I would legit start crying. I don't know why but it just happens. Sometimes at night, I'll just listen to music and reminisce about everything people say. I try to not let it to affect me it when you hear it every single day, you start to really think about it. Like does it matter that much to say something about it all the time? Then there's the fact that I take things literally or too literally. Like when the kids on my bus asked who the girl was I was talking to was. Of course I said my girlfriend because that's who she is, but then they asked why does she talk to me. To be honest, I don't know why she talks to me. I mean I'm not anything special. I'm just the stupid, annoying kid that nobody likes. The one that should disappear and never return again. Nobody would care maybe my parents but that's it. But I can't do that. That's because I want to do something with my life. If I just left there will be no legacy of me left behind. And I don't want for that to happen. I want something to be carried down in my family that my kids can talk about with their kids. Look I do tend on making something of myself in the future but I really don't think that will happen. Anyways, I'm also kinky. Like really kinky. So kinky you'll think I'm supposed to be on Fifty Shades of Grey. Sometimes I even surprise myself with some of the stuff that I'm into. Sometimes I wonder if it was the tv shows and movies that made me like this or if it was just the stuff that I was exposed to as a child. Maybe I'll never find out but whatever it was that caused me to end up this way, now I don't really care. Also sometimes I tend to put myself in bad head spaces. Like I'll just think myself into a bad mood. I'll be doing nothing and minding my business and having a grand ol' time but then out of nowhere I'll see something or hear something and I start to overthink about it and then I don't want to talk to anybody or I just shut down or get on people's nerves because I never want to tell them what's wrong or really want to talk about it. I don't know why but it just happens I guess. Then there are the times where I let my insecurities get the best of me. Like when I went to sky zone and they were having all these contest and stuff and I wanted to do them but I just couldn't help but think of how stupid I would look doing them so I just gave up. Oh but I'm really silly most of the time. All I do is laugh my ass off. Sometimes I'll laugh at jokes and other times I'll make the jokes people laugh at. Depends on how I feel, you know? But for the most part, it's hard for me to not laugh at everything because I'm able to find humor in everything. I don't know why, but I just do. And then there are the times when I conclude stuff too quickly. Like I'll think something happened when it really didn't, and then I'll say something about it and then that causes chaos that nobody wants, especially me. So all I try to do is just it back and let everything run its course. I like to think that I am very optimistic. I'm quite hopeful about my future. I have hopes about the future that I would really like for them to happen. Like I want to be able to have a very successful career when I get older. I want to be able to marry my beautiful girlfriend one day. I already have something planned for our junior year but she doesn't know what it is and she won't know what it is. I also want to be able to have kids that will follow in my footsteps for when they get older. I have a lot of hopes that I want to happen. But oh well that's just me in general. And lastly, I am a very passionate, affectionate, romantic, love sick person. I know it may not seem like I am but I am. I just love getting hugs and kisses and being loved. It just brings a warmth to my heart. I'm like a big ol' teddy bear. I love me some cuddles. Like I really love cuddles. It's just something about being in another person's warmth and them being in yours as you share a connection with each other is like, exhilarating. Oh and it's especially better when that person is soft and cuddly too. It's like getting a hug from two of your favorite stuffed animals over and over and over again.
