Love To Hate You | ✔

05

Ruby

I don't know how long I was sat against that wall, but I knew I was there until school ended. It felt like years since I bottled up these emotions, but I knew that wasn't the case.

Jason.

That name seems so foreign to me. All these feelings are foreign to me, I don't know what to do with them.

I used to ask myself why didn't people like me, or love me. Now I know, I don't like myself too.

I rubbed my eyes still feeling the burning sensation of the salty tears, which sat at my waterline, groaning I slowly got up. I looked at my watch; 4:15 pm.

Shit, shit. Dad is going to kill me. I grabbed my bag and ran home as fast as my legs could take me.

My heart was following the speed of the rain drops which started to fall, slowly then all at once.

God, come on Ruby hurry. Please...

I reached my front door, rushing inside to only meet with an angry face. I gulped. "Where were you?" He gritted through his teeth.

"I-I... i-I lost track of the time." I stuttered. Please believe me. "Are you lying to me?" He stalked closer, I shook my head.

"Are you sure, you weren't with a boy?" I fluttered my eyes, "A-a boy?" His lips drew into a thin line.

"Did I stutter?" He hesitated "You were, weren't you, you little whore!" He grabbed my arm. He got close to me, "A whore just like your mother." He hissed.

My heart shattered, crumpled in my chest, is this what he thinks? I looked further into the house to see my mother just sitting there, crying with Mrs. Jackson comforting her.

"Wh-what did you do to her?" He menacingly chuckled. "I showed her for who she really is. I mean Jason did the same to you, didn't he?" My breathe caught in my throat.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve. You didn't think that your mother and I couldn't hear the argument that night." He got closer to my ear, "The night he broke your little heart." I gasped.

∞∞∞

"Honey Jason's here for you!" I stopped. Why is he here?

I walked downstairs, not caring what I looked like. I stood in front of him, "What are you doing here?"

"I-I came here to apologise, I never meant to hurt you." I scoffed crossing my arms.

"Yet that's the thing you broke my heart, and I hate you – I hate you because I still love you." He lifted his brows.

"But that doesn't change on what you did to me. You hurt me in so many ways; no matter how far you are willing to stretch you won't be able to catch my broken heart. Believe me I've tried."

I bit my lip, "There is hurt here. It surrounds me, almost consuming. You left me! How could you do that? You cheated on me with my ex-best friend, do you know how belittle that makes me feel!" I pointed to my heart.

"Ju-just go Jason." I went to close the door, "But I love you."

"Fuck you." The door was inches away from slamming, but he held his foot there, "Jason leave."

"No." I was dumbfounded, "No?"

"No. do you know why? Because I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear. I never meant for this – us to become something. I had fun, so did you. You loved me, and I loved you. I didn't want to do the dare, bu-but Lucas made me." I scoffed.