Walking Sins (BoyxBoy)

Proper Date Etiquette

Allison^ hope you enjoy

Saturday came all too quickly. With the raging heat our town seemed to be 'blessed' with, I didn't need my curtains open to feel the temperature outside. My room was one of those rooms that was stuffy and unbearably hot, even in the coldest of temperatures. At the moment, my room was so hot that I could see that the little dust particles in the air had a tinge of orange.

A sharp knock brought me out of my thoughts, at first, thinking it was my mother, I groaned in a way that would make her think I was letting out a sleepy sigh.

A skill that had taken years to perfect.
When the door opened, in walked not my mother, but my sister. My darling, darling sister; it wasn't a comfort to see the smirk already present on her far too sinister face.

"Fuck off, Sassie," I checked my phone, blinking warily at the brightness of the screen, "seven-thirty is way too early for your bullshit, so do us both a favor and get out."

"Oh, but Brother, haven't you heard?" Her smirk widened as she ripped open the curtains as dramatically as she could, momentarily blinding me. "Our dearest mother has left me in charge."

I glared at her suspiciously, "Of what?" I was quite aware of my apparent sneering - whether or not Sassie was, I didn't know. She yanked the blankets off my body and pulled the pillows from beneath my head. I glared at her.

Heinous beast.

"Of getting you ready for your date," There was too much of a threat behind her words, and if it had been anyone else I wouldn't have cared.

But this was Sassie, the most ruthless you could get.

I stared at her in disbelief, even though I knew this was no joke."Really?" I hummed, "Now just from memory, I seem to be quite capable of dressing myself."

Sassie grimaced, as if she were about to tell me bad news. "But with someone of your. . . stature," I felt my eye twitch, my slight chubby-ness, mostly in my face and neck - thank you very much - was none of her concern. "And well, personality, Mother thinks it would be best if I showed you the ropes." She let out a breath of pity, letting it rain down on me.

I glared at her. "My stature has nothing to do with this and you know it. You're just jealous because I have to try and make a double chin, while all you have to do is stop jutting your jaw out like a plank of wood."

She glared at me, "It's not my fault you look like a constipated turtle every time you put clothes on. I'm not doing this because I want to,"

Bullshit I thought bitterly.

"It's just that mom doesn't want you going out with Sister Christian-"

"Allison." I sighed, "Her name is Allison," Sassie ignored me.

"-and scaring her off because it looks like you haven't taken a shit in four years." She inhaled deeply, exhaling all the anger out. "To put it politely."

"If you're so worried about my bowel movements, would taking a shit on your bed reassure you?" I sat up, ignoring her blanch and feeling a little satisfied that I'd gotten that much of a reaction in the first place. "Just pick out some clothes and get out, the dates not til twelve, so I have plenty of time to figure the rest out."

She sat on the corner of the bed. "Oh how naïve," I raised an eyebrow. "Mother didn't just give me the task if picking out your clothes, no." She hummed in delight, "It's my job to teach you proper date etiquette."

I felt my brain stop. "Proper what what?"

"Proper. Date. Etiquette."

"Proper.. date. . . etiquette?" I asked slowly.