Walking Sins (BoyxBoy)

The Memo

Hello, sorry it took so long to get out, I wasn't and still aren't completely happy with this chapter but y'all deserve it for being patient^^

I woke up before Erik.

He was still asleep, with his slightly curled hair falling over his face. He looked peaceful, he looked relaxed. Light was drowning the room from where I hadn't closed the curtains, the sun shining and glittering across his skin and each of his beauty spots.

Against my better judgement, I took a photo.

Then, when I remembered the events of Thursday and the aching came back, I climbed over him and out of the bed. Looking back only once, I left. It was hard and it hurt and I probably stared at his sleeping form for longer than I had needed too. But it was done. I had walked away.

But now it was Monday and I knew I would inevitably have to face him. It happened in the morning, and I found myself cursing because I thought I had more time. I was in my usual spot, Will on my left, then Allison and Erik came in.

Luckily for the sake of my mental health, Allison sat across from me and I wasn't forced to stare at his face whenever I looked up.

But then Allison and Will decided that they needed to see their science teacher and promptly left. Leaving me alone with the one person I couldn't even look at.

I opened my phone and began scrolling, not reading but also trying to in the hopes it would distract me from the boy across from me.

"So you're ignoring me then?"

I didn't look up, "That's the idea," I looked up quickly, then back down at my phone. Just a flash of his eyes, the hurt in them, and guilt smothered me. "I guess you didn't get the memo then?"

Silence. Just silence from him. "Can we still be friends?"

I locked my phone, looking up and finding it wasn't as difficult as I made it out to be. "No." I watched the pain increase, "You know I can't do that and it's not fair to me to be lead on."

The words processed, I watched the gears in his head click. "I wouldn't lead you on."

I felt my eyes fill with angry tears, I looked to the side and blinked them back before they could fall. I looked back at Erik, not wanting to think about how he was seeing me. "But I don't want to be just friends with you, Erik."

There was a new emotion on his face, one that was a mix between anger, disbelief, and irritation. His eyes flickered to my neck, scoffing. "Looks like you've already moved on."

I blinked at him, running my tongue over my teeth as I tried to hold in everything I wanted to scream. I blinked and rolled my eyes. "Yeah it certainly seems that way, doesn't it?"

I stood from the table, grabbing my bag and hoisting it over my shoulder right as the bell rung. If I wasn't so angry, I probably would've congratulated myself on the timing. I made my way to English, lined up outside the door and found myself waiting outside when Ms. Chinn gave me the look.

When all of the other student piled into the room, her features softened. She gave me what I thought was a very motherly look. "Are you alright?"

I think the weight of everything in that moment got to me. It was the hope and the rejection and the confusion and the anger. All of it hit at once and I found myself unable to move. Paralysed and incapable of lying and telling her I was fine.

I don't think my tears fell gracefully or flowed, it was kind of like they just exploded from my eyes along with the sob that came from my chest. My hand flew up to my mouth to quiet myself.