snapchat - hwang hyunjin

16

8 : 12 AM
minhey sent you a message on Snapchat
hwanghjnhyun sent you a message on Snapchat
kim.seungmin sent you a message on Snapchat
jisquirrel sent you a message on Snapchat

i have been up since 1 am and i couldn't go back to sleep. i didn't have the urge to go to school today. and i only have one reason.

my feelings are confusing.

i don't wanna go to school with a mind full of countless unanswered thoughts and questions. i'd zone out every minute and maybe i'd get detention because of that.

why are my feelings confused? seungmin and hyunjin.

i like them both. but i like them both differently. get it?

i like hyunjin as a friend but i like seungmin not as a friend, more of a crush. but didn't i have feelings for hyunjin before? what do i really like about hyunjin? about seungmin? do i have feelings for seungmin because he has feelings for me too or because he's treated me kind?

my phone's been buzzing for hours but i just stared at it. jisung kept knocking at my door but he soon gave up and told me to catch up later.

if i go to school now, the gates are probably locked already. so i decided to go to school later, after lunch.

i sighed as i got up my bed and walked lazily to the kitchen. i was surprised when i saw a plate of pancake on the table.

i walked to the refrigerator and saw a note from jisung.

eat the pancake on the table, i made that for you. if you're sick right now, please take medicine. if you don't feel well, don't go to school later, okay? but if you feel okay, please catch up. i told mom and dad and they said they'll call you later. be careful, sis.
ㅡ jisung

i smiled as i read the note. jisung's caring side rarely shows up to me but whenever it shows, i love it.

i took out the milk from the refrigerator and sat on the table. i started to eat but the questions and thoughts never left my mind.

after eating, i just washed the dishes and decided to take a shower and change clothes.

i looked at the time, it was already 10. jisung's last class must've ended already and he's probably free.

ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ

han.jaeyoung
can you please pick me up?

jisquirrel
sure

han.jaeyoung
please dont bring anyone with you

jisquirrel
why?

han.jaeyoung
please just dont

jisquirrel
okay, i understand

ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ

after an hour, jisung came. i was just sitting in the couch, hugging myself, unsure of what to say. he sat down on the couch in front of me and folded his hands.

" what happened this morning? " he asked.

" i'm fine. nothing bad happened. " i answered.

" you usually don't like being late. "

i stayed silent.

" tell me what happened, jaeyoung. i'm your older brother. "

i sighed. " nothing, it's just my thoughts. "

" what's with your thoughts? "

" no, not thoughts. i mean, thoughts and feelings. "

" don't tell me this is basically about your feelings about seungmin and hyunjin? "

i slowly nodded.

" both of them got worried. they almost got into a fight. "

" and it was because of me. i wish they never knew me. i wish i never knew them. none of this would've happened. they wouldn't have fought, i wouldn't have to be stressed out by my own thoughts and feelings. "

" let's just go to school. maybe minhee and jeongin will make you forget about your problems. "

i nodded and the both of us stood up and walked to the car. i had to sit beside the driver's seat.

the whole drive was silent. i was just staring outside the window while the same questions and thoughts kept running through my mind.