Adopted by Hamilton

Random Writing

Hey everyone! So I have been thinking a lot and at one moment I just had word vomit. I have been having a rough time these past couple of months and the next 2 will be pretty hard on me too. Over the week I went on a church retreat and the speaker talked about how everyone has something or someone that is holding them back and that when we realize it we should let it go. I realized what that something is that is holding me back and it is going to be hard for me to let that go. So this next little piece of writing is me talking about things I have been thinking about and the word vomit that I wrote down. I want to know what you guys think about it so please comment and tell me if I should keep going or not. If it gets enough likes and comments about ways to improve I may use it in the script I'm writing for a play I'm producing. Thanks in advance for the feedback! This writing may be a little sad but that is how I've been feeling, so anyway here it is.

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Sometimes I think about the times that people don't want to think about. The times when people shut out the world and listen to their thoughts. You never know when that time is going to come and what's going to happen to you when it's over. When we think about our lives we don't think about the time we have left, we like to remember the things we have already done. We don't like to think about death and what will happen after we are gone. We don't want to think about what people will do and how they will feel.

Life as we see is in the palm of our hands. One day you can be holding it and be perfectly fine. The next day your life could be turned upside down by something good or bad. You could be lying in bed and you get that phone call that changes your life forever. You don't know when that day is going to come or why it's going to come. You like to think that it will be for a good reason but you don't think about what could be going wrong.

Everyone is different. Everyone thinks about life in different ways. There are the people who think that they will live forever, the people who think that they have to live everyday like it's their last, the people who wallow and say there is no reason to live because we are all going to die, and yet they all make it through day after day never knowing when their end is coming.

We never like to think that the end is near or that it could be coming. When we think about when our end is coming we think that we have many years to live or that we are going to live until we are ready to go. But the truth is we never know. No one does. Today could be our last and no one would know. Some people like to say that they can feel it and that they will feel when it's their time and they will let go when it is.

A lot of the time we reflect back on what we have done in the past days. No one ever thinks about what they are going to be doing in a year because we don't know. Everyone wants you to pick a job that they want you to do for the rest of your life, but none of us know what we are going to do for the rest of our lives. Even if we think we want to do this thing for the rest of our lives we may not want to.

Life is interesting. We talk about our feelings and we like to surround ourselves with people who we like. No one ever asks you about the people you hate or the people you have a problem with. But in reality you should be able to talk about the people who have done something wrong to you. You should be able to step up and tell people that there is someone who has said something offensive to you or they have done something to you.

Sometimes I think about the people around me. There are people in my life that obviously shouldn't be there. There was a moment in my head where I realized I shouldn't be around them anymore. There are those people that we all have around for a while but then we realize that they are bad for ourselves and we are just hurting ourselves. The thing is sometimes we grow up with these people and they make us feel bad about not wanting to hang out with them anymore.

Sometimes we have to find the courage to stand up and be ourselves. We have to find the courage and strength to actually stand up for ourselves and not step down when someone calls us out. We all have trouble in our lives when it comes to courage and strength. One thing that I have learned from people older than me is that we have let go sometimes and sometimes it isn't worth it to keep having them tear you down.

For me this person has always told me that I'm not good enough. This person has made me make some bad decisions that have ruined parts of my life. This person is always tearing me down and I know that now it isn't healthy for me. I realize now that there are way better people in my life that I should look towards for advice.

Isolation is a way for many of us to cope. Isolation makes us make bad decisions. I am my own enemy. Isolating myself allows me to tear myself down and allow me to make myself feel worse than I already do. I allow myself to tell me that I'm not good enough or that I don't try enough and that I'm a disappointment.

We allow ourselves to say we don't matter and that no one would miss us if we were gone. But the truth is we don't know how people actually feel about us. We always hear about the people who you wouldn't expect to be going through so much but they are. They are always putting themselves through it because they don't appreciate themselves.

Talking about our feelings is hard. I never tell anyone how I feel and I never stand up for myself. I'm always afraid to put myself out there and say what I want to. I never feel comfortable enough to say what I want to. Writing things down is a way for me to express myself without letting other people see. I allow myself to bottle everything up and then eventually I breakdown.

None of us like to share how we feel. We all bottle it up and eventually breakdown. No one likes to breakdown in front of others because you think that people will think you are weak. We all have those feelings and we all go home and breakdown there. One thing we all do is bottle all of our feelings inside. For instance, some people go to therapy because they get the help they need but some people are afraid to go because they may think they will get made fun of by others.

No one likes to think about what will happen next. No one talks about what will happen after they get help and what will happen if they don't get the right help. No one talks about the problems they face and how that makes them feel. None of us like to imagine what others are going through and we don't like to ask them about it either.

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Let me know if I should had anything and how it could benefit from changes. Thanks everyone! I'm working on a chapter now and it will be out soon. Please vote and comment. Thanks!