I waited as what felt like days past. I saw Ryder slowly begin to get smaller and more unhealthy, his skin losing its color and his face looking more sunken in by the day. I say helplessly and watched as I couldn't do anything to stop it. The restraints had begun to really dig into my bone as the blood just continued to pour from my wrists and now from around my ribs from where the restraint holding my back to the chair was now slicing into me. Ryder was losing his mind constantly talking to himself now or talking to something at the wall. He was slowly breaking and all I could do was sit and watch and do nothing. Days must have passed when the creature didn't come. The holes on Ryder's body didn't seem to grow but they got darker as time went on. One night his breathing became so shallow and inaudible I thought he had died and begun screaming and thrashing around in the restraints. A little while later he jolted upright and began speaking again. His words now coming out as little more than nonsense and gibberish. At some points I would begin singing, hoping he would hear me again. One time I thought he had. He was fighting his bindings and making it harder for himself so unconsciously I began humming and eventually singing. He seemed to stop moving and listen but seconds later resumed fighting his restraints. That was all the hope I had needed for a while that maybe there might be some chance that he was going to be ok. That I would get to see him walk out of here alive. The hope, now slowly fading, kept me going for a good while. Hope being the only thing I really had to hold onto now seemed like it was good enough.
I watched and wondered what would happen if I just died, right here right now in this chair. Would the thing let him go? Would this end up being a test and in reality everyone is ok and it was to see what my reaction would be? Was this just going to be my life? Watching the people I love be tortured and killed and mutilated beyond recognition for the rest of y life. There were times I imagined what Lillian and Justin had gone through, the pain they had felt if they had felt anything. The look in their eyes as they realized this was going to be the last thing they saw, or knowing that I wasn't going to be able to do anything to help or to stop what was going on like I always promised I would. Maybe they didn't feel anything and everything that happened was after they had finally gone to sleep. Maybe the creature had spared them Ryder's fate and took pity on them. I looked over at Lillian and for the first time, i saw something. It was minimal and small but it was a shimmer. A shimmer in the darkness that now had my full attention. On her left hand, was a ring. An engagement ring and a wedding band. I cried.
In some time I had gotten to see her get married, and walk down the aisle in that white dress and say her I do's and kiss the person who would make her happy for the rest of her life. I had seen it, but can't remember it. I can't remember anything before this cell. I remember emotions and some faint memories but nothing like this. With the little hope, i had left I looked over to Justyn and saw that a matching ring adorned his hand as well. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face, even if it didn't reach my eyes and was accompanied by tears. They had found someone. Whether it be each other or someone else I don't know but they had been happy. Grief and despair cut through me in a heartbeat. What if they had kids? What if they had had nephews or nieces? Who were they now leaving behind that I didn't know? Who was Ryder leaving behind in this world?
I folded in on myself and cried. I just cried. I blocked out everything that cell was and everything that I remembered. I let my mind go blank and void of all thought and I just let everything out. I spoke to myself and to whoever might be listening. I spoke to Lillian, and Justyn, and Ryder though none of them could hear me. I gave myself a voice for once and let them all know what was going on in my helpless mind. I let them know everything because I knew no one would hear. It would be like I hadn't said anything and again the only person who would truly know what was happening would be me. I couldn't care if they heard at this point. I didn't care if they finally realized how truly broken, and shattered, and miserable I am. How I cry myself to sleep every night now trying to get the images of what I've seen out of my head. I didn't care if they might have heard it and finally realized what I'd been trying to tell them all these years. I just didn't care anymore. Ryder was the only thing in my life now that was a light in the dark.Even now the hope of him getting out and surviving even if I remained was the only thing keeping me from running the restraints straight through my body.
After a while, i began laughing. It wasn't like a giggle or silent laugh. No, it reminded me of something you'd hear over a PA system once and asylum was taken over. It was hollow and haunting and unearthly. It was something probably no one would have ever expected to hear from me. After that, i was yelling, screaming, thrashing, cussing. Anything. I did anything to take away the pain I was in, to take away the thoughts. I'd rather be feeling the pain from my restraints than the emotional and mental pain I'm being put in now. I'd take getting shot multiple times over this any day of the week.
" Well look at this. I've finally fucking lost it haven't I," I said to myself as I shook my head. Ryder had fallen asleep for the third time in what had to be twenty minutes. Then I realized something that would hopefully take my mind off of the situation and the stress. I zoned out on the floor and began counting.
" One, Two, Three, Four," and so on and so forth. I didn't stop, and I didn't stutter. I kept counting. I did the math in my head for the hours, and once I hit the hour mark I began again. I continued doing this for two days.
Two days later the creature returned. It looked at me but continued on to Ryder. I was still counting. Its presence was now normal to me as it was to Ryder who barely even had a shift in his breathing when he saw it. He just sat up a little straighter and looked it dead in the face. I continued counting, wanting to know how long this thing planned on staying. I had not once dared begin a conversation with it and still had no intention of doing it now. I watched as it stalked closer to Ryder and seemed to peer at him. It was odd to watch considering it had no eyes or even sockets for eyes, but anyone would have known by the way it was holding itself that it was looking at him. It began to pace in front of him, to work up his nerves but Ryder never so much as changed his breathing. Nothing moved beside the rising and falling of his chest and the blinking of his eyes. Nothing moved for an hour. It was silent and still for an hour before the creature turned to where i was. Though Ryder wouldn't see me he looked anyway. The creature must have decided to a different approach because the barrier separating us dropped, my restraints were released and Ryder yelled.
I stood up on shaky legs, taking my first steps for what I knew was two days and at least another two months. I made it all of five steps before falling and crawling all the way over to Ryder. His restraints on his arms had been released by replaced with restraints for his ankles. I crawled forward and he moves to come to me but hissed and recoiled at the pain of moving anything that used his leg or back thanks to the now pitch black gaping holes there. I finally made it to him and fell to the ground beside his leg, just laying on the floor.
" I'll be back soon to reset you both and wipe his memory," the creature hissed in my head, " I can't have him giving up just yet," it said before leaving. I didn't react, I just laid there looking up at him.
Even after all of this, he was still who I remembered. He reached down towards my face, slowly, as if I were to disappear at any second. I sat up, meeting his hand, and rested my own on his face.
" I'm here," I said as he began to cry. He wrapped his arms around me and just hugged me. He sat and hugged me and just cried. He hadn't cried this much before and as he tried to speak and words failed him I cried too. I hugged him back, avoiding the injuries I knew he had, and just sat there. After a while, we both calmed down and he was finally able to pull away and look at me. He grabbed my hand and marveled at the fact i was actually here before some sort of emotion crossed his face and rage began to set in.
" How long have you been here? What have you seen?" he asked and I could tell he was getting upset. I moved closer and laid my head on his shoulder.
" I think it's almost been two and a half months. I can only remember waking up to see them dead and you chained to a wall. I have seen everything that happened with you though," I said, my voice breaking as I recalled those memories.
" So that was you? That I heard singing?" he said. I nodded and he hugged me again, squeezing as if he was never going to get to hold me again, which was a possibility.
" I hoped you weren't here. I hoped you were safe somewhere far away and you'd never have to see this or know about it," he said quietly as he hung his head again. He knew I would get upset but even now I didn't have it in me to get upset.
" I know you did. I know,"I whispered to him. I simply sat there in his arms and savored the feeling. It would probably never happen again and if that was so then I would be happy if this was how it all ended. If I died, right now, I would be happy.
YOU ARE READING
Nightmares Within Me
HorrorThis is made based on a continuous nightmare ive been having. This is in first person and names in the book have been changed to not only protect said people but also myself. If you know me and know your in this book the name that I have used for yo...