Nightmares Within Me

Night 6 Part 4

What everyone was assuming was night came quickly and after people had tended to Ryders wounds they fell asleep. Justyn fell asleep next to Ryder while the girls were far from both me and Ryder. Once everyone had fallen asleep i stood up and began examining the door. I had no doubt they already had but i had to see of there was a way to get out. After time went by and i was unable to find anything i went back to the corner i had taken but i didn't sit down. I stood, waiting for the creature to come. I stood centurie all night and it didn't once show it's face. I stood there long after Justyn woke up and when the last person was awake i finally sat down and continued to just watch them. They had found ways of entertaining themselves between their shifts of watching Ryder. His wounds were healing good and he woke up at one point but he didn't see me. I had pressed myself so far into the corner he couldn't have seen. He went back to sleep and they redressed his wounds and went about their business.

The food rations came and Justyn brought mine over to him. Lillian had wanted to but he said he didn't trust any of them around me. It was like a shot to the gut. Lillian countered with the fact that she was the only one who had dealt with me like this. Justyns roar of an answer had her shutting up and walking to the corner they had slept in. He didn't pout though, she was pissed and she was making that obvious.

" So are you going to make it like i plan on ripping your throats out the rest of this experience or are you going to just let me be?" i said when he brought my food over.

" If you're going to be a bitch i'll give this food to Ryder," he countered. I just laughed.

" He needs it more anyways. I just want the note on the bottom. I've gone longer with less food anyways. Plus if i do magically die, you will all be better off," i said as i took the note. He looked like he was going to counter but i interrupted him.

" Don't lie to yourself, or them. You know it's true," my voice dropped as i said it but he knew it was true as much as i did. They would be better off without me. I know i tried it before, sacrificing myself. It just got them all killed either way, but even so.

I watched as he thought about it and when he seemed to have accepted it he turned and walked away. I turned my face towards the wall as a few tears escaped and rolled down my face. Even though it's true it's hard to have them know and accept it. I wiped them away and unfolded Nathan's newest note.

" There's no way to sacrifice yourself out of this one. Someone will die tonight and there no stopping it, i'm sorry Rae. I bout you all the most time i could," for the first time in days i got up and walked towards the group. I dropped the note in Justyn's lap.

" I don't know who, i don't know when, and i don't know how," was all i said. My voice was cold and firm and when i turned my back, they didn't stop me. Not as they looked between themselves wondering who was going to be leaving them. I called out as i walked back.

" As painful as it's going to be, it's a blessing to be leaving here," and with that i sat down.

Ryder woke up again and began asking about me. Justyn eyeballed back at me briefly and i pushed myself farther back into the shadows. I had become the monster i always claimed i was, but i wasn't afraid of it because i had once loved a monster. But knew he didn't need to see what she had created, the thing that tried so desperately to hide since her, and the thing that tears me up inside everyday. THere was no reason to see that. Let him think what Justyn tells him, which thankfully was that i was still out from my injury. That he had woken up before me. It sent him into a momentary panic when he started asking why i wasn't awake and why i was so far away. Justyn simply said my injuries were taking to long to heal and that the ink that was put in my body was easily spreadable. He knew it was bullshit to but Ryder believed it and as he looked around a hollowness entered his eyes. He forgot Eric had died.

" She injured herself to save us, but i can't tell if she's still what she turned into while that rat was here of is she would be normal again," at that point i'd had it and stood up.

" I'm neither. I'm just this," i said. My shirt was torn and my clothes were falling off and my torso and leg were wrapped up. My eyes were drained of all color and life but i held myself taller than normal and stood with attention and strength that you would see from a fighter on a battlefield. I was now that empty shell i warned everyone i could be. He tired to get up and i laughed a little.

" Stay down there love, there's no reason to get up. There's almost nothing left of me now," i said the last part so quietly i didn't know if he heard but the tears in his eyes told me he did. And he didn't like it.

" I refuse to accept that," he said But Justyn put a hand on his shoulder.

" It's true. She isn't who you knew anymore, she is someone else that only Lillian has seen and dealt with," Ryder's head fell and i took a step back when his head shot up.

" Give me a hug," Justyn and I looked at him like he had grown a second head, he just repeated it and so i moved forward and Justyn moved back a little. I sat beside him and he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me. My arms wrapped around his neck and we sat there. Eventually my breathing began to get shaky. I realized what he was doing and went slack. He let out a breath i hadn't realized he was holding and he drew back.

" I'll give you the space you need until you're ready to come back to me. I just wanted to make sure you're still here," i placed my hand over my heart and had to calm my breathing and struggled keep my face that mask of cool nothingness i'd had for days. I simply nodded but the second my back turned the tears i'd kept at bay fell and i walked back to my corner of the cell and sat down, lightly hitting my head on the wall. I fell into a trance of it, the steady beat of my head hitting the wall the only thing helping me calm down. After a while someone's hand intercepted my head and i looked up to see Justyn.

" I thought you were gone and something faded in me at the thought you wouldn't come back. But whatever he did showed us you're here," he said as he hugged me and for the rest of the night we sat like that, until it showed up. Justyn raced from where we were and took up position in front of Ryder. I waited in the shadows. It was looking for me, making sure i would see. I calmed myself and when i kept it waited long enough i walked out of the corner. It turned on me so fast it was unbelievable.

" Hello darling, having a nice night?" and then i launched myself at it.