I'm NOT a faggot (UNDER EDITING)

- Chapter 6 -

Pov Jason
Even though Nathan was quiet at school, it was nice to be around him. I would greet him when we walked past each other in the hallway and eat lunch together. We walked to school together for the rest of the week while the snow was slowly melting away. We texted each other often after school and I got the feeling he was so much more open when he was writing instead of speaking.

Like he puts all his emtion into one sentence and when I read it, I get it. I understand what he means by the choice of his words and, you know, smileys. He was like a whole different person. I kinda liked that... I also hang out with Emily and her friends during the day. And by my own surprise I actually went to that party last night. One of the reasons I was walking around like a zombie today but it was fun.

I was walking towards Nathans house right now. It was Saturday, exactly one week after we first met. When I was geting closer to his house I saw Suzie building a snowman with the last bit of snow there was left.
"Hi Jason!" she yelled happily and I smiled.
"Hey Suzie, building a snowman are we?"
"His name is Olaf!"
"Of course it is..." I sighed and waved goodbye before crossing the street to Nate's.

As I walked to the front door, I could already hear Chrissy barking in the backyard. That's probably why, when I rang the bell, it didn't take long for someone to open the door. It was a young woman and I could see a bit of Nate coming back in her. She didn't look much older though... Probably early twenties, something like that.
"I'm here for Nathan" I said and she nodded.
"Alright. Nate! Someone's at the door for you! his name is-what's your name?" she asked.

"Jason" I said.
"Jason!" she yelled. I saw him coming down the stairs in just his shirt and boxers. I don't think he actually noticed it.
"Well, let him in, come on" he said and opened the door a bit further for me.
"Bye Angela"
She rolled her eyes and took her coat before looking at Nate.
"No funny bussines, understand?"

"Just go already, you're late" he said and practicly pushed her out of the house.
"Oh, uhm, that was my sister Angela. She needs to get to work but she's late, again"
"Seems like a nice girl" I said.
"Where does she work?"
"Library, she has a student job" he explained.
"S-so uhm, wanna drink something or go upstairs or anything?"

"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" I asked as I kicked off my shoes.
"Oh let me get that" he said as I pulled of my jacket.
"Thanks" I smiled and our hands met. He looked paralysed for a few seconds before pulling away and avoiding my gaze.
"Let's go upstairs..."

He spoke softly, like he was afraid his words would break me. A bit confused, I followed him up the stairs to his room. It was exactly as I imagined it would be. Mostly black and red colors, a gaming pc on his desk and a bed which looked like a bear just attacked it.
"Sorry for the mess" he sighed.
"Don't worry, my room isn't great either" I smiled and sat down in the black chair behind his desk.

I spinned around to face him and laughed. I really loved chairs with wheels.
"You're enjoying yourself" Nate laughed while jumping down on his bed.
"What can I say? I am enjoyable" I joked.
"That ain't a lie" he smiled and stared at me. It was like he studied every inch of my body with his eyes right in that moment.
"So, I've been meaning to ask you something" I started.

"Y-yes?" he asked, a bit blushing.
"Why aren't you wearing any pants?"
He looked a bit confused at me and then towards himself. He bit his lip and stood up from his bed, heading for the closet.
"I-I forg-got" he stuttered and took a pants from one of his drawers.
"Hey, it's nothing" I laughed.
"Your butt is really nice so I don't mind"

He turned as red as a tomato and I almost fell from laughter.
"I'm joking Nathan! No worries!" I laughed. He put the pants on and sat down on his bed again. It was a bit quiet so I decided to look around. I noticed a family photo on his desk and grabbed it.
"Cute photo" I said and showed it to Nate.
"You look a lot like your mom"

"Yeah, I hear that a lot..." he sighed and looked at the ground.
"S-she uhm died o-of cancer..."
"I-I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know, I'm sorry" I said.
"No, don't. You can't change anything about it, can you?" he sighed and took the picture from my hands.
"I'd like to keep it in here as a reminder of her"

"Mom keeps photos to..." I mumbled and I thought Nate couldn't hear me. But I was wrong.
"Of who?" he asked and looked at me. Come on Jace, you can tell Nathan. You can say it out loud.
"My brother" I whispered and clenched my fists.
"H-he died a few months ago... A car crash... I-I..."

I can't do this... I felt tears sting in my eyes.
"Hey, sssh" Nathan whispered and hugged me.
"Boys can cry... Tell me about your brother"
"H-his name was Jackson..." I sighed and wiped my tears away.
"H-he was m-my twin..."
I pulled away from his hug and stared at the ground.
"Wow, uhm, sorry, that went from joking to serious quite fast..."

"Jace, if you want someone to talk to, I'm here for you okay? It's better to talk about it, you'll progress it quicker"
"I-I know" I sighed and looked at Nate.
"He was my best friend and now he's gone... I just have a hard time thinking about that..."
"It took me half a year before I spoke of my mother again" Nate sighed.
"So don't worry, I'm sure you'll be alright, eventually"

I laughed a bit and shook my head. Nathan smiled too and looked at me with a dreamy gaze.
"Thanks Nate... I really needed that" I sighed and stood up. He did the same so we looked each other in the eyes.
"That's what friends are for" he said and forced a smile. I just saw it. It was such a fake smile. I saw his eyes glide over my face and linger on my lips. Just for a second but still. Wait... Did he...? I looked him in the eyes and saw he did the same.

And just in that one moment, I got lost...