I'm NOT a faggot (UNDER EDITING)

- Chapter 7 -

Pov Nathan
I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Jason was coming over today... I really began to like him over the last week and I think I might be in love with him... Although Emily always knew how to get him away from me. She pulled him towards her popy group and he even went to that party last night... He still stayed at my side though and Peter left me alone since Jace came. So that was something positive...

"I'm here for Nathan"

My head perked up and I jumped up.
"Nate! Someone's at the door for you! His name is...Jason!" I heard Angela yell and went downstairs.
"Well, let him in, come on" I said and opened the door a bit further for him.
"Bye Angela"
She rolled her eyes and took her coat before looking at me.

"No funny bussines, understand?"
"Just go already, you're late" I sighed.
"Oh, uhm, that was my sister Angela. She needs to get to work but she's late, again"
"Seems like a nice girl. Where does she work?" Jace asked.
"Library, she has a student job" I explained.
"S-so uhm, wanna drink something or go upstairs or anything?"

"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" he asked as he kicked his shoes off.
"Oh let me get that" I said when I saw him pulling his jacket off.
"Thanks"
He smiled at me and I melted. Our hands met and I froze for a few seconds. Why did I need to be in love with him?! I finally let go and looked away.

"Let's go upstairs..." I sighed silently. We went upstairs without saying a word and I showed him my room.
"Sorry for the mess"
"Don't worry, my room isn't great either" he said smiling and found his way to my big-boss-chair, as I liked to call it. He spinned around and laughed.

"You're enjoying yourself" I laughed while jumping down on my bed.
"What can I say? I am enjoyable"
"That ain't a lie" I smiled and stared at him. He was so handsome... I studied his face and he looked so damn perfect...
"So, I've been meaning to ask you something" Jace said.
"Y-yes?" I asked and could feel my cheeks burning.

"Why aren't you wearing any pants?"
First I was confused, until I looked down. Shit. I immediately headed for my closet.
"I-I forg-got" I stuttered and took as quick as possible a pants from my drawers.
"Hey, it's nothing" he laughed.
"You're butt is really nice so I don't mind"

D-did he just really say that?!

"I'm joking Nathan! No worries!"
Of course he was... I put my pants on and went to my bed. A few moments of silence passed before Jace spoke again.
"Cute photo"
He showed me the photo I kept on my desk. Our last family picture...
"You look a lot like your mom" he said.
"Yeah, I hear that a lot...S-she uhm died o-of cancer..." I said and looked at the ground.

"I-I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know, I'm sorry" he stuttered.
"No, don't. You can't change anything about it, can you?" I sighed and took the photo from his hands.
"I'd like to keep it in here as a reminder of her"
"Mom keeps photos to..." Jace mumbled.
"Of who?" I asked a bit confused.
"My brother" he whispered and clenched his fists.
"H-he died a few months ago... A car crash... I-I..."

He never mentioned a brother before... I thought he was an only child. I saw he fought the tears and came into action.
"Hey, sssh... Boys can cry... Tell me about your brother" I whispered as I hugged him.
"H-his name was Jackson..." he sighed and wiped his tears away.
"H-he was m-my twin..."
He pulled away and didn't look at me.
"Wow, uhm, sorry, that went from joking to serious quite fast..."

"Jace, if you want someone to talk to, I'm here for you okay? It's better to talk about it, you'll progress it quicker"
"I-I know... He was my best friend and now he's gone... I just have a hard time thinking about that..."
"It took me half a year before I spoke of my mother again" I sighed to comfort him.
"So don't worry, I'm sure you'll be alright, eventually"

He laughed a bit and shook his head.
I smiled too and looked at him with a dreamy gaze. His smile was so beautiful...
"Thanks Nate... I really needed that"
We both stood up and looked each other in the eye.
"That's what friends are for" I said, even though I wanted to be so much more than that... My eyes went from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes.

His lips looked so damn soft and before I knew it, I kissed him. I. Kissed. Him. I kissed Jace! What the hell was wrong with me?! He wasn't even into guys! But then the unexpected happend... He kissed back... I slowly pulled back and realised what I just did.

"O-Omg, I-I'm so sorry I-"

I turned around so I wouldn't have to face him. The silence that was created between us was tense and deafening. I just wanted this moment to be over... This was so terribly awkward...
"Uhm... I-I think I should get going..." Jace said slowly. I could hear how confused he was. He didn't see this coming, neither did I...

"I'll see you monday" he sighed and left my room. Monday. So did that mean that he still wanted to see me? That he still wanted to go to school togheter? I looked outside the window and saw him leave. When he turned around, looking at me, I closed the curtains immediately. What have I done? I closed my eyes and fell onto my bed. Tears formed themself and I didn't hold back. What if I ruined our friendship?

Pling!

I looked through the water in my eyes at my phone. A text from Jace...

-I'm sorry Nate, I shouldn't have done it
-I shouldn't have kissed back
...
-Are you mad at me??
-Nate please answer...
-I'm not mad... Are you mad??
-What?! No! Nate, we can talk this out
...
-Can I trust you with something?
-Of course
-Anything
-I lied to you
-Not only about having a brother
-What do ya mean??
-I lied when I said I'm not gay
-The truth is... I'm bisexual
...
-Nate??
-Please don't be mad at me
-I don't really talk about it
-Nobody knows, not even my parents or any other family
...
-I'm scared Nathan, scared of what I feel
-My dad is homophobic, that's why I'm not so open about it
-Are you in love with me??
...
-Please Nathan... I-I can't handle this much longer...
-Please answer
-Nathan??
...