I'm NOT a faggot (UNDER EDITING)

- Chapter 33 -

Pov Jason
I struggled the rest of the day at school. Gossip was going around and as usual it was about me. This morning people were happy to see me return and they were full of questions, wanting to know how I was doing. Well, now they knew... Now they knew I had been fighting with a depression all this time. Nobody had noticed cause I had build a concrete wall around my heart and kept my mask on, but once that fails... Nate had ordered Sim to watch over me and make sure nothing happend. He basically said that I'm not allowed to be alone anymore. Not today at least.
"Ready to go home?" Nate asked as I walked into the bicycle stand. I didn't answer and just took my bike. We were just on our way but I wasn't in control of my steering wheel and swung across the road.
"Everything okay?" Nate asked concerned as he tried to come closer.
"I-I'm not supposed to drive while under my medication" I sighed, seeing two white middle lines instead of one and three lanes instead of two.
"Everything is a bit dizzy..."
"You want to stop? Let the medication wear off?" he asked but I shook my head.
"Nah, I'll be just fine!" I called out.
"What do doctors know anyway? Why isn't there a painkiller that doesn't makes you all dizzy and sleepy huh? Or why do I got those annoying headaches of those stupid energy pills they gave me? I hate medicine!"
And that was the moment I drove straight into a tree. Nathan stopped in front of me but everything was upside down for some reason.
"Are you okay?" he asked, trying to hide his worry.
"Yeah, I'm fine! Why are you all upside down though?"
He rolled his eyes and got off his bicycle.
"Unbelievable, this is just like in the hospital... You're hopeless, you know that?"
"Tss, you don't mean that" I stated as he helped me up.
"Omg, Jason you're bleeding" Nate said as he lifted my shirt. Some of my wounds opened again and left a small trail blood.
"Huh? That's strange, I don't feel a thing" I said confused.
"Cause you're all drugged up you dork" Nathan hissed and let go of my shirt.
"I'm calling my dad and we're gonna see a doctor"
I whined at the word doctor and sat down in the dirt, not caring whether my clothes got dirty or not. This was the last thing I needed right now...

My drugs wore off rather quickly once we got to Nathan's house after visiting a doctor. I apologized to his father and Nate for all the trouble I caused but they said it was fine. It wasn't fine. I sighed as I looked at my bandages in the mirror. Apparently my wounds weren't so healed as I thought they were. And the doctors lowered my medication, meaning it wouldn't be as effective but easier for me to continue my daily business. I pulled my shirt back down and stared at myself. What a day...
"Wanna hug and make out?" Nate asked from behind his computer, playing a game but feeling the tense atmosphere.
"That's my line" I muttered and looked at him.
"You said you were gonna tell me your story"
"Oh right, I did say that, didn't I?" he sighed and paused his game.
"Well, you better have a seat"
"Oh so it's that kinda story" I said and sat down.
"I was Emily's boyfriend once, did you really expect it to be a casual background story?" he stated and I shrugged.
"Guess you're true"
"So, two years ago Emily and I were a couple. She was a totally different person at the time, kind and caring. She wasn't even that popular. She was just the girl next door, you know? And we were happy together but... I felt like something was missing"
"Something between the legs" I grinned and he gave me a small dead glare.
"Are you serious right now?" he asked, not really amused.
"Anyway, I met this guy from out of town on summer camp and we were close friends. We hung out all the time, chatted with each other and stuff. It was a long distance friendship since he wasn't really from around here. But when we saw each other there was always something in the air I just couldn't explain... And then one day, out of nowhere, he confessed his feelings for me"
"And you didn't see it coming? Not even a little bit?" I asked.
"I swear to you, he looked as straight as they come" Nathan stated but continued.
"I started to think about it and when he came over w-we kissed... I knew it when our lips touched. It wasn't like anything I had with Emily, it was so much more... But someone took a picture of that moment, kinda like what Emily did to us. The photo spread and Emily was furious. I-I was planning to break up with her, I just didn't know how yet but than that photo..."
"You cheated on her" I said with big eyes.
"With a guy!"
"I know it was my fault okay?" he sighed and stared at the ground.
"I just... I tried to say sorry, to explain everything to her. I didn't want to lose her as my friend but it was already to late. There was no turning back... I came out to my family after that. And I admitted my love for my best friend, but when I went over to his house, wanting to tell him everything, it was already to late..."
Nathan got tears in his eyes and just stared at nothing.
"He committed suicide Jace... His parents told me everything. He was depressed and was cutting. He got bullied at school and online and he never got the chance to be who he truly wanted to be... He ended his life and I wasn't there to stop him, to safe him... I was his friend for so long and I never noticed a thing! It was only after I lost him I started to see the signs... That moment I vowed that I would never let something like that happen again. Ever"
He stared at me, crying. I had tears in my eyes as well. I never knew...
"Come here and hug me you bastard" he said with open arms. I stood up and crawled with him in the big black chair, sitting on his lap, hugging him.