G E M I N I

Paradise

I pray for heaven
Like praying for lions to grow wings
Or autumn before spring

I will never understand
Why I was born in a failing body
Paying for some one else's sins
until I'm paying for my own

If I was predestined to fail
Then gaining your Love was to tease me or test me?
You could patronize me all on you want
Do as you please

But it would never stop me
from desiring you
For wanting to be apart
of your glorious body
But these are just wants
And these are just my needs
That I crave to be satisfied
Which is selfish of me

I can't get close enough to touch you
With my filthy hands and dirty soul

My apologizes my King,
I'm still fighting against the skin
you placed me in

I know these thoughts
shouldn't be divulged
And are probably forbidden
But if it devours my soul
Shouldn't I release
what's been torturing me?

I fear being alone for too long
Cause I start sinking
in the pit of my despair
And I never liked the dark
your light has always guided me home

And I fear your peace
will only come after death

But I want you to promise me
that I'd be leaving this earth
only to be with you

Because you are the only entity
that could quench my thirst

And I fear my negligence has inflicted pain for the ones I love

I'm so negligent I forgot my existence cause living for myself never pleased me
But I'm well informed
that I flounder to get things right,
to get it together,
so things could get better.

And I repent for denoting my feelings
They're always overlooked
and made invalid

I was just venting to the only thing that would listen
Which is the silence
between my heart beating and pausing

I would've preferred to be your puppet while you toy with my strings

At least I would've been more obedient
and less defiant.

I hope that offer reaches your desk
and that my supplications are the ones next on your list
and not laid to rest

I pray that I'm never ungrateful
Because the taste of your grace
Makes me want to kiss you on your feet
Only if you'd let me

And I hope my cries aren't in vain

But even so,
if they are
I am content
that they were for your affections.