G E M I N I

Je suis désolé

Some times you treat me like you despise me

You ball your fist then unloosen your grip,

I could still feel restraint,

I see the lack of love from the hate,

I feel the love through the pain.

I'm trying to love myself
And love you all the same.

But I'm having difficulty
Intertwining the two,

I find it easier to just choose you,

I find it easier to give up on myself and lose.

Lose the fight between existing and being nonexistent.

Or persisting and pursuing myself,

Or to pursue you in hopes of never being alone,

Or hopes that we can one day grow old,

Or in hopes to gain salvation for my soul.

It's deep and cliché
But I can't help but to feel this way.

You're growing through a tough time,
And I'm going through some hard times
All the time.

But I can't complain,
If unhappiness is the cost of healthiness
Then I must take it with grace.

You raised me perfectly
And I say this thankfully

But,

It's taking everything in me
to not lose my mental,

And I don't want anyone's sentimentals

Because,

I do not have the words to make your sadness leave,

And I do not have the medicine to heal your disease,

And for that I'm sorry,

I couldn't be all that you need.