Summer [ Harry styles fanfic ]

NOBODY CAN

SONGS:

(ILL BE- EDWIN McCAIN)

(LET HER GO- JASMINE THOMPSON)

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME- CELINE DION)

(I NEVER TOLD YOU- COLBIE CAILLAT)

MORGANS POV:

As i get up from the bed to take a quick shower, I think about what we just did.

What does this mean? I mean we just had a weird way of sex? But i dont know anything about him. What the fuck is wrong with me!? Ugh.. First I get mad at Avery about getting pregnant, look at me though over here making love to basically a random stranger?

I go inside the bathroom, turn on the water, get undressed and step in. I wash my hair and body with men body soap, at least they have good shampoo and conditioner.

Im finally clean but im not ready to face him. So i plug up the bath tub, put some shampoo in the water and sit in the water.

Its quite, I like it but i just cant get what just happened out of my head. I slowly put my arm in the warm bath, I pull away quickly and silently curse at my self for putting my cuts in the warm water.

I look at my arm, I see all my cuts why did i do this to myself? But i don't regret it. I like the feeling of the blade going into my skin, I like the feeling it gives me it takes all of the emotion out of me and just replaces it with pain.

Avery doesn't even know that i do this, she found out one time but i swore to her i wouldn't do it anymore.

God.. I hate myself.. How could i just leave my mom alone like that? I mean shes dying for crying at loud.

As i think of my mom not being on earth anymore it brings tears to my eyes.

My eyes are burning because of the tears. As i look over at my arm i start squeezing the crap out of my cuts. I start bleeding, I cover my mouth so harry wont hear me.

"Morgan I was-" Harry began. He looked at me and stared at me. He came running over to me and grabbed my arm away from my hand.

"Morgan! Why?! Stop please stop!" He begged and screamed. I let go of my arm, I start crying. I really don't care if harry is looking at me butt naked right now.

He looked at me, he was speechless. I grabbed a towel, got out of the bathtub and left a speechless emotion less Harry sitting there. Well what am i saying i can see the emotion straight in his eyes, it was filled with hurt and sadness.

Why is he sad? Its not like he cares anyways. He got what he wanted, me in bed with him. Why does he act like he cares?

I go into the other room, hopefully Niall wont be in here. My hopes were filled he wasnt in here. I quickly try to get dress. As i was about to put on my bra it got stuck.

Fuck. Why do these things have to happen to me?

I finally got it unstuck and pulled it on me. I only have panties and a bra on now. As soon as i was about to get my clothes harry walks in.

"Morgan." He begins

"No Harry, No im sorry i made a big mistake." I say harshly

"W- What do you mean?" He says and i could tell theres nothing but hurt in his eyes and voice.

" I mean it was a mistake to do this." I say more slowly

" You think im a mistake?" He says

"I dont know." I say

"Where are you going?" He says harshly.

"I-Im leaving."

" Why?"

"Because I shouldn't be here."

"Did i do something wrong?" He says and it breaks my heart the way he says it.

"No its not you. I just need to think." I say

"Im sorry Morgan for what happened."

"With what?" I say dumbly

"I dont know what to really call it because i didnt fuck you." He says and i cringe my nose at the use of his words.

"M-Make love to you, I didnt really make love to you." He corrected himself.

" Oh.." I say

" I mean it was fun. Did you enjoy it?" He asks

"Yes i did. But im leaving because i almost gave myself to you, I know you dont have any feelings towards me." I say with tears pricking at my eyes.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because nobody can have feelings for me? Its not possible, Im to much."

"Morgan but I-"

"No Harry im sorry but i just cant listen to anything right now, Im still trying to process what the fuck just happened between us. I mean were not a couple you dont have feelings for me, I have feelings for yo-" I say but stop as i realize what im saying.

"Feelings for who?" He asks and he has a little hope in his face. Why though?

"Nobody. I don't have feelings for anybody." I lie. He doent say anything just stands there, i push pass him, as soon as im about to get to the door, i feel somebody pull my waist.

" Morgan listen." He said and i tried to say something but he hushed me.

"Morgan no listen to me, You got you time to talk. How could you just walk out like it was nothing? I mean how do you not think that nobody can have feelings for you? I mean i did touch you and made you feel amazing, but do you really think i did it that just for fun?

Why the fuck would i ever do that yeah i have a terrible past. But you know what Morgan just shut the fuck up for Gods saks!" He says and my heart fell when he said that.

"What?" i say

"No its not your turn yet. I said just shut up because you know what Morgan." He said, he got closer to me and pushed me up against the wall.

"Theres no way in hell am i going to let you leave, I will not let you go so easy!" He yells but whispers.

"Please harry please dont."

"Please what? what? please dont say that i love you?!" He yells

"Yes..." I say crying

"Why? why cant I? huh? You can have feelings towards other people, but when people have feelings for you, you wont accept it??!" He yells. Then after a few seconds he crashed his lips into mine, i push his head back and slap him.

He takes a step back and anger builds all over his face.

"NO! NO YOU JUST CANT DO THAT!!! YOU CANT JUST COME INTO MY LIFE AND MAKE EVERYTHING GO AWAY!!! THIS ISNT A FUCKING FAIRY TAIL! ITS REAL LIFE YOU DONT GET HAPPY ENDINGS!! YOU DONT LOVE ME NOBODY CAN LOVE ME!! DO YOU SEE ME IM UGLY IM FUCKING TO SKINNY AND UGLY!! I CUT MYSELF IM A FREAK! DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT HARRY????!! HUH? I GUESS NOT! NOBODY CAN LOVE ME!! YOUR JUST LYING SO YOU CAN FUCK ME!!! THEN LEAVE ME FOR THE NEXT GIRL WAITING! YOUR FAMOUS YOU CANT LOVE ME! THIS IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS YOUR FANS WILL HATE ME! I HATE MYSELF IM TERRIBLE!! MY LIFE IS SHIT! MY MOM IS DYING AND IM HERE IN CALIFORNIA AND FUCK FOR FUCKS SAKE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK MY FATHER IS BECAUSE HE A COWARD AND CANT STAY TO TAKE CARE OF HIS MISTAKE!!!! I GOT BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS CARDS FROM HIM AND HE CLEARLY STATES IM THE BIGGEST FUCK UP IN THE WORLD!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH GOD HARRY NOOOO BODY CAN LOVE ME!! STOP LYING TO MY FACE!!!!!!" i scream and yell i cant take it anymore.

"But i do love you." He says coming closer. I unlock the front door and run to my room. I pound on the door wishing they hurry up i dont want to talk to harry right now.

Finally, Niall answers and his eyes are pure red. I push pass him and shut the door, locking it. I slide down the door, I put my face in my head in my hands and start crying.