You'll be missing out // All time low -[AU]-

Chapter 18

Alex's POV

"I'm sorry." Quinn whispered, I didn't reply, "Alex, speak to me this isn't fair." She frowned.

I turned to her, "I don't care." I muttered.

"Alex, stop being so selfish." She frowned.

"I'm actually done, Quinn, you are so frustrating at the moment and you don't think to tell me anything." I stressed,

"I'm sorry! I'm not used to it." She retorted.

"Quinn, when was the last time you had a proper relationship?" I asked, she looked down, "One that wasn't forced."

"2004." She whispered, 2004? That was me. That's unhealthy, surely.

"When was the last fuck you had, excluding me?" I asked, she looked away, "Quinn, tell me."

"The day before we got together." She shouted, running her hands through her hair. I nodded.

She spoke again, "w...why do you think I'm dodgy?" She said quietly.

"Quinn, what are you on about?" I replied, knowing.

"I heard you guys talking. You, Jack, Hayley and Justin all think I'm dodgy, why?" She asked, looking into my eyes, she had a weird talent of getting anything out of anyone and I hated it.

"Fine. We wanted to know how you got out so we were coming up with possibilities and the only ones were pretty dodgy." I said, bluntly.

"How can you even say that? You clearly dont know me at all." She was angry....great

"Clearly I dont. Maybe this wont work out." I turned away from her.

"You and I both dont want that, Alex." She muttered under her breath.

"Talk to me when you've cleared your head. You clearly haven't taken your medication, this morning." I spat angrily, immediately regretting it but before i could apologise, she was out the door of my house and probably making her way to some random bus stop.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered how good everything was when we were young. How i messed it up. How everything now is so messed up and its all because of me? I'm the one who ruined her and now she's going to do something stupid and it's all my fault, again.

"Lex, are you okay in there?" Jack asked, from outside the door.

"Yeah, i'm just trying to sleep." I lied and heard im walk down stairs. Him and Hayley have the perfect relationship and my one is just so so fucked up.

Quinn's POV

I messaged the AA group chat quickly, 'Anyone up for sex' and immediately got five replies, they were either 'no, i've got a girl' or 'what kind of sex' I simply replied with the truth, I have nothing to hide, these guys are my best mates. 'Revenge sex'. The replies were along the lines of 'we dont want to get killed by alex.' which is fair enough.

Ben: I guess its me then.

Honestly, I didnt feel as bad as i should have, considering i was cheating on alex. This was bad.

.....

I'd made it to Askings bus in washington about 20 minutes ago. I feel bad because i dont feel bad.

Honestly though, Ben is better in bed than Alex so im glad that happened. Don't get me wrong, Alex has a bigger dick. He's just not as experienced i guess, he's also to nice, whereas Ben is rougher. I dont really know. It really depends on what you prefer i think.

"Thanks, Ben." I smile as i get in my car to go.

"Dont worry about it." He winks as i drive off, I should feel bad for doing this. Hell, i'm not even sure if i want to be in this relationship. We've been together a week, I can't break up with him now. Things are so messed up right now, I just want to leave everything and go on tour and get shitfaced. but I can't, because I do things that I can't do and I dont know what to do because thats the only thing i have to turn to when things get bad.

I got to a car park andpulled out my phone to speak to alex, I really couldn't face anyone in person right now.

"Hey Quinn." He muttered, i couldnt tell if he was tired or sad. It was one of the two.

"Hi Alex, I dont know i things are working between us right now, I dont know if we shouldkeep trying or maybe try again after my tour ends. I hate doing this over the phone." I spoke to him, shakily.

"Q, what did you do?" Alex's tone changed.

"what do you mean?" I asked, sort of panicking.

"I mean you were gone for about 45 minutes. You're always longer. All i know is that you didnt get pissed. So, what did you do?" He sounded mad.

"I..uh..went...uh..to the..um..studio?" I said hopefully, knowing it wasnt believable.

"We all know that is not true. Just tell me." Alex provoked.

"No. I'm not telling you." I said grumpily.

"Quinn. I promise I won't be mad." Alex sighed.

"I know. Who are you with?" I asked, thinking of a plan.

"Jack."

"Let me talk to him." I said. I'm proud of myself for thinking of this plan, not gonna lie. I heard the phone being passed over and jack spoke.

"Hey, Quinny!" I could practically hear his smile, "what were ya doing?"

"Well, let's see, it's the 11th of December and lex's birthday is in three days. What do you think I was doing?" I whisper-shouted down the phone at him.

"Ohhh! So you really couldn't tell him. I get it." Jack replied wistfully.

"Yeah. I'll be home in a bit. Bye jacky." I smiled, hanging up.

I began driving back to Baltimore again, turning on the CD player in my car and listening to the album, 'reckless & relentless' by asking Alexandria.

—

I pulled up to the studio, texting Hayley to meet me here. Most of my time was spent in the studio, touring or writing. Ttf are one of the biggest bands right now and I don't want that to change. Being home does annoy me because I'd rather be up and about, touring or recording if anything. I prefer not to be settled, it's probably not normal but oh well.

——

"Okay, so, you laid down the vocals, bass, guitar and drums today for the new album. Now all we do is mixing." Our producer, Eliot told us. It was honestly a relief to be done, this album is going to be pretty heavy. I'm really hyped to be back on the road again with my brothers. It's going to be good. Now all we have to do is get things cleared with Alex. It's just so tricky. I wasn't like I am now back then and it's really unhealthy that I haven't been in a relationship since. I've been in and out of bars. Destroying my liver because that's what I do best. Slowly and slowly becoming disgusting and it needs to stop.

"Quinn, are you in there?" Hayley asked, shaking my shoulders.

"Yeah, what?" I shook my head as I came back down to earth.

"What's the album release date and first tour date again?" She inquired, resting her head on her hand.

"15th jan and 12 February." I smiled.

"Who's it with?"

"Asking and bless the fall." I grinned, getting more excited.

"No way, this tour's gonna be sick!" Hayley's smile grew. I nodded frantically, "who's the touring band?"

"My personal faves, baz and phil." I laughed, baz was a close friend, he was a great guitarist and f u n to take on tour, phil probably one of the best drummers out there, not gonna lie.

I was happy about this tour, it just made me kind of sad because I either had to talk to alex about everything, or leave it and not enjoy it. This was a difficult decision.

A/N THIS WAS SO BAD IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO DIE I CANNOT WRITE ANYMORE WTFFF