Hope and Faith

TWENTY-ONE: FAITH

Faith was reeling on the concept of having a friend. It was difficult for her to accept at first, this newfound friendship with Hope Chamberlain. But having a friendship with another girl wasn't as terrible as Faith made it out to be.

It was different, being around Hope. Faith had grown so accustomed to her solitude, as well as having Sebastian as the only other person she spent time with, that hanging out with Hope felt strange and foreign to her. Albeit, she couldn't deny that she enjoyed it.

She could feel their energies intertwining whenever they were together. They were vibing, Faith would say. It was difficult to explain. All she knew was that something in the air changed when they were together. She felt a feeling of comfort and familiarity with Hope. The feeling of comradery. Connection.

Even stranger than the friendship itself was the feeling of devoid when they weren't together. Faith would find herself sitting in her room, either drawing in her sketchbook or smoking a joint, and she'd experience this sudden feeling in her chest. A longing of sorts. That need and desire to be spending time with someone. She recognized this feeling, was very familiar with it. For she experienced it whenever she and Sebastian were apart. But this was different. Hope was her friend, not her boyfriend. So why was she feeling this way?

Perhaps it was because Faith felt that Hope understood her on a higher level. She had never bonded with a friend like that before, and it had given her an odd sense of contentment. She found herself smiling in Hope's presence. Soaking up the moments, understanding one another. She listened to Hope. And Hope listened to her.

Things were different with Hope. But for the life of her, Faith couldn't figure out why.

During their first week of their newfound "friendship", Hope had instigated a game. She called it: Get to Know You 20Q. Faith had disregarded the game at first, said it was stupid. But Hope insisted. And Faith caved.

"So what do we do?" Faith asked.
"Well, I start off by asking you a question. You answer, and then I answer, and then it's your turn."
"Okay."
"I'll start," Hope said clearing her throat. They were sitting cross-legged on Hope's bedroom floor, facing each other. "What is your middle name?"
"Seriously?" Faith asked.
"What?"
"That's your first question?"
Hope laughed. "Just answer it!"
Faith sighed. Adjusting to Hope was still taking some getting used to. "Marie. What's yours?"
"Lydia."
"So now it's my turn?"
"Yes."
Faith thought for a moment. "Your birthday."
"August eighth."
"Right, you said you were a Leo."
"What's yours?"
"September twenty-first."
"Right."
"Yours is coming up, then," said Faith.
"A few more weeks, yes."
"Your turn," Faith reminded her.
"Right, yes," Hope thought of another question. "What do you want to be when you're older?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly that. What do you want to be?"
"Well, I want to be myself."
"I meant career wise."
"Well you shoulda said that," Faith said, then thought. "I don't know. Anything I want, I guess."
"And what do you want?"
"I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm only sixteen, you know."
"I know. So am I."
"But I have a feeling that you already know," Faith said.
"I do."
"Care to share?"
"I'm going to be a doctor," Hope said matter-of-fact. "So is Matthew."
"How romantic."
Hope nodded proudly.
"What kind?"
"I want to do pediatrics. Matthew is interested in cardio. He wants to be a surgeon."
"Sounds complex."
"It is. It's very difficult and you definitely have to put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. But as with most things in life, you have to work hard towards what you truly want. Work for your passions."
"Did your mother teach you that?"
"No," Hope laughed. "It's just the truth."
"Well," Faith said. "When I decide what I'm passionate about, I'll let you know."
"There has to be something. Anything! What comes to mind when you think of the future?"
"I don't think of the future."
"You must."
"I don't."
"A teacher, maybe?" Hope suggested. "I could see you being a teacher."
Faith laughed, loudly. "Me? A teacher? Yeah right."
"Why not? I think you'd be good."
"Don't humour me. I'd probably kill a child before I'd teach one."
"Faith!"
"I'm kidding, relax. I know, murder is a sin. I'm sorry."
Hope gave her a look.
"I like to draw," Faith finally said.
"Well there's something. I bet you're passionate about it."
"I guess. It's one of the only things I'm good at."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you're good at many things. You just don't give yourself enough credit."
"But being an artist isn't sustainable."
"How so?"
"You want to be a doctor, right? You're going to have so much money. You could do whatever you wanted with all that money. But the struggling artist... how would I survive?"
"Don't worry about money," Hope said. "Just pursue your passion and the money will follow."
"Easy for you to say."
"It's the truth."
"It's not, but alright."
It was quiet again.
"Whose turn is it?" Hope asked.
"I don't know. You go."
"Okay, um," Hope thought. "Favourite food?"
"I hate choosing favourites, stop asking me that."
Hope laughed. "Why?"
"It's annoying."
"Choosing favourites is annoying to you?"
"Yes. Didn't I ever tell you that I, too, am indecisive?"
"No, you did not."
"Well, I am. And I hate choosing."
"Well, if you could eat a meal right now, what would it be?"
Faith thought for a moment. "Pizza. Or burgers. You?"
"Strawberries. But I also love chocolate chip cookies."
"As long as no animals were harmed in the making, right?"
"Exactly."
"Okay, my turn?" Faith asked.
"Yes."
"Why do you want to marry Matthew?"
The question caught Hope off guard. "What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly that. Why do you want to marry him? You're only sixteen."
"Because," Hope said. "He's my soulmate. The love of my life."
"But how do you know that? Is he the only boy you've ever dated?"
Hope hesitated. "Yes."
"Then how would you know what else is out there if you've only ever been with Matthew? It's like saying your favourite fruit is strawberries when all you've ever eaten is strawberries."
"What are you insinuating?"
"That you're too young to truly know who you want to marry."
"Why are you suddenly saying this?" Hope was getting upset.
"I'm just speaking the truth, Hope. How did the two of you meet anyways? Let me guess, it's an arranged marriage."
"What?"
"How did you start dating?"
"We've known each other our entire lives."
"Yes, but how did you start dating?"
Hope shrugged. "He's a family friend. Our parents are very close."
"That's what I thought."
Hope grimaced. "Do you have a problem with Matthew?"
"Not at all," Faith said. "I just thought I'd put that out there."
"Put what out there?"
"Marriage. That's all. Carry on."
"Faith, you can't just say something like that and expect us to continue playing the game!"
"Why not? It's not a big deal."
"It is a big deal! Now I feel weird."
"About what? Me, or Matthew?"
"I don't know!"
"Both?"
Hope didn't respond.
"Let's see the ring again," Faith finally said.
Hope held out her hand.
Faith examined it, turning Hope's fingers over in her hands. "It is a nice ring."
Hope nodded solemnly.
"I'm sorry," Faith said, giving Hope her hand back.
"It's okay."
"Want to know how Sebastian and I met?"
"Okay."
Faith uncrossed her legs and put them to the side. "It's quite mundane, really, not your typical Cinderella Story. But basically, we were at school, just over a year ago now, and it was the talent show. I watched for a good twenty minutes before I couldn't stand it any longer. So I got up, left, and went outside for a smoke. Sebastian was on student council, and therefore he was part of the crew that was putting on the show. He saw me leave and followed me out to make sure I was okay."
"And that's it?"
"Basically."
"What did he say to you?"
"He asked if I was alright. I said no. He found that amusing."
Hope smiled at this. "You seem happy when you talk about him."
"That's because he makes me happy."
"That's good. I'm glad. Because we all need that one stable bit of happiness in our lives."
Faith nodded, picking at her cuticle.
"And you never think about marrying him?" Hope inquired.
"God no," Faith said. "We're sixteen. We're just dating. I don't expect anything serious out of it."
"Doesn't that make you sad?"
"No. It's just how life works. When you date someone, it's only going to end in one of two ways. You either marry them, or you break up. And if you're only sixteen, marriage isn't really on your mind," she concluded. "No offence."
"None taken," Hope said. "I see your point. I guess it's just different for Matthew and me because religion is everything to us. And we know the importance or marriage and family. The sacred bond created between husband and wife. And because I believe that we truly are soulmates."
Faith tried to hold back her laugh, but it came out regardless.
"Don't laugh at me," Hope said.
"I'm not."
Hope made a face.
"Just promise me one thing," Faith said to her.
"What's that?"
"At your wedding, I can be the flower girl."
Hope smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."