Hope and Faith

SEVENTEEN: FAITH

Faith was thinking about what Hope had said to her about not being able to rest. Something about the busyness of her mind. Faith could relate to that. Over the years, she had grown accustomed to not sleeping, or resting for that matter. There was always the constant noise in her head. The thoughts and the chaos swarming her from within.

She still wasn't sure how she felt about the minister's daughter. Faith was skeptical when it came to making new friends. Was that what Hope was to her? A friend? It felt strange asking herself that question. She was so used to being alone and avoiding human contact at all costs that she had completely forgotten what it was like to simply talk to someone – another girl – and get to know them. Sure, she could hang out with her brother, Sebastian, or even Carson and Jake. But spending time with Hope Chamberlain was different. It made Faith feel something, and she wasn't sure she liked that.

The next time that the two would convene again would be that Friday. Of course, Faith would be seeing Hope every single day for the rest of the summer in camp. But sometimes Hope would be busy or preoccupied, tending to children or organizing things with the staff. Those were the times that Faith would realize, standing there by herself, that she was truly alone. Because she had no friends. She had no one to talk to. And having this tiny glimpse of a friendship with Hope made her realize one thing: her mother was right.

"Let's go out for dinner tonight," Faith said to her mother on Thursday afternoon. She had just gotten home from camp and was in a surprisingly good mood.
Claudia looked up from her desk and eyed her daughter. "What did you do?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did you get somebody fired? Burn down the church?"
"No, I just thought it would be nice."
Claudia removed her glasses and set them on the desk. "What did you have in mind? And don't you dare say Frenchie's."
"Why not? I love it there."
"No. Choose somewhere else and I'll consider it."
"I don't know anywhere else."
"Well then you better start looking."
Faith turned to leave.
"And Faith," Claudia said.
Faith stopped and faced her mother again.
"Invite your brother as well please. It will be a nice time."

______

Faith found a place. Although it wasn't in Meadow. There were only a total of three restaurants in this town, including Frenchie's, so Faith had to expand her horizons.

When she had mentioned it to her brother, he told her that there was a nice restaurant a few towns over called Lynden's. When Faith suggested the idea to her mother, Claudia approved. So there they were, the Everett's – minus their father – sitting at a table in Lynden's.

"How did you hear about this place?" Claudia asked her son once the waiter had taken their orders and departed from the table.
"One of the guys I work with has mentioned it a few times. He and his girlfriend come here."
"How is work, by the way?" Faith asked him, taking a sip of water.
"It's good. I actually really enjoy it."
Claudia smiled. "That's great, sweetheart."
"And how's camp, squirt?"
Faith took a moment to answer and a look of worry crossed Claudia's face.
"It's fine," Faith finally said. "And don't call me squirt. I'm like, one year younger than you."
"One and a half," Mike countered.
"She even made a friend," Claudia smiled.
"She's not my friend," Faith said quickly, instinctual.
"What's her name?" Mike asked.
Faith rolled her eyes. "Hope."
"Aw," Mike teased. "Hope and Faith. How precious."
"Yeah, so precious."
"What's wrong with her?" Mike asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there's gotta be something wrong with her if she's friends with you."
"Fuck you!"
"Language!" Claudia hissed.
Faith looked around the restaurant. No one was staring. She was in the clear.
"How's dad?" Mike asked his mother.
"He's fine. Still settling in and adjusting to the new place."
"Must be hard for him," Faith said. "He's all alone out there. In that empty apartment. All by himself."
"I'm sure he's doing fine," Claudia said.
"I might go up to see him next weekend," Mike said. "If he's cool with that. I'll give him a call tonight."
"Of course he's fine with it," Claudia said. "He'd be more than happy to have you." Claudia turned to her daughter. "And what about you, Faith? Would you like to go see your father as well?"
"No."
"Why not?" Mike asked.
"I don't want to go. I'm fine here."
"Yeah right," Mike said.
"Sebastian's coming up anyways," she said. "So I can't."
"Well, alright then," Claudia said. "I won't force you. You can go whenever you feel ready."
"And what if I'm never ready?" Faith countered.
"Well," she took in a breath. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

______

Dinner, surprisingly, was quite successful. There was no yelling or swearing. No tears or storming out of the restaurant. The three had managed to eat a complete meal in peace, which wasn't as easy as it sounded for the Everett's.

They even went for ice-cream afterwards; Mike and Claudia getting classic vanillas, and Faith getting cotton candy bubble-gum. It felt good, she had to admit, spending time with her mother and brother, simply talking and doing mundane activities. They hadn't spent much time together when they were living in Georgetown, so why would she expect Meadow to be any different? Things in her life prior to this were complicated. And she felt as though her mother's move was somehow an attempt at a quick solution to all of their problems. But as Faith had learned, you can't escape your problems. They follow you wherever you go.

Later that night, she sat at her desk, sketching away onto blank pages that seemed to never end. She hadn't sketched in over a month – not since her parent's separation announcement. It was as though she was underwater all this time, holding her breath, suffocating. And somehow, tonight, she was able to come up for air. Not a whole lot of air, but enough to breathe. Enough to think. Enough to block out all of the noise to be able to relax and simply sketch.

She was fine with this. Neutral and indifferent. It didn't matter to her what happened in life; she put on this masquerade and pretended not to care. That was how it had always been for Faith. But tonight, she almost felt something. Almost.

The only thing was, she didn't know how long she had before she was back under water.