Hope and Faith

SEVENTY-FOUR: HOPE

She had been there for three weeks. It was Tuesday evening when Hope spotted the calendar on the wall in the office and realized what day it was. She kept her eyes focused on the doctor in front of her and relayed the same rehearsed lines that she did every other day.

"I feel good," she said to him. "Better. I no longer have the urges that I did before. I no longer think about women or females. I think about my boyfriend, Matthew, who I love deeply and feel remorse and regret for hurting."
"If Matthew was here right now," Doctor Hale said, "What would you say to him?"
Hope took in a breath. "I'd tell him that I was sorry. I was so stupid and selfish before. And I was in denial. I couldn't see that there was something internally wrong with me. With my mind. But now I see it. I have found the light again and am on the pathway back to God. I just pray that He will forgive me."
"He forgives all, Hope. And now that you have seen the error of your ways, He is willing to guide you and accept you once again."
"Will Matthew ever find it in his heart to forgive me?"
"Of course. If Matthew knows God, then he knows forgiveness and repent. He will accept you into his heart once again."
Hope forced herself to smile. "Good. I cannot wait to be with him again. I've missed him so much."
"I'm glad. You've made so much progress here in such a short time. Your family will be excited to see you again."
"When do you think I'll be able to go?" Hope asked, then cursed herself for seeming too eager. "I mean, I want to be cured and get better. But I'm also looking forward to seeing my family again."
Doctor Hale considered this. "I'd say within the next week or so. Maybe two. We'll have to see."
Hope smiled and nodded, feigning the same politeness that she had been using with him for the past three weeks. Unfortunately, a week or two until her release wasn't good enough. Hope needed to get out of that place.

Tonight.

_______

She sat with Adam at dinner, stabbing her fork into her salad and shoving it into her mouth. She was on edge, eyes darting around the room, anxious that someone might be watching her.

"You okay there?" Adam laughed, noticing her aggressive salad-eating.
"What?" Hope stopped and met his eyes. "I'm fine. Why?"
"You seem agitated, that's all."
"Oh." She tried to stop and calm herself down. "Adam," she said, looking up and meeting his eyes.
"Yes?"
"How do I get out of here?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly that. I'm going to break out. Escape. Whatever you want to call it."
His eyes widened, but a smile quickly found its way to his face. "No way. What makes you want to break out all of a sudden?"
"I have somewhere I need to be."
"I see."
"So are you going to help me or not?"
He looked around the room, surveying the patients and the staff. "Okay," he said. "But I'm not coming with you."
"Why not?"
"I'm not in any rush to go back home. I fucking hate my parents. And I have nowhere else to go."
Her heart ached for Adam. "What can I do?" she said. "To help you."
He smiled at her. "There's nothing you can do. But don't worry about me – I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Now, let's focus on getting you out of here."

_______

It was close to midnight by the time Hope finally made it out of Caledon Center for Reparative Therapy. It wasn't an easy task, but she had done it. And now, she was outside, breathing in the cool, fresh air, feeling the grass beneath her feet.

Her escape wouldn't have been possible without Adam. After dinner, he put on quite the show, pretending to choke on his chicken salad until the staff swarmed him, holding him down as they performed First Aid and CPR. Luckily, Adam was able to grab a set of keys off the nurse who was pumping his chest, and once he was cleared and good to go, he slipped them to Hope.

She kept the keys underneath her shirt and walked with caution. Her body was electrified with nerves and she believed that at any moment, someone was going to realize what she was doing and take her away to punish her. She knew all too well how that would turn out.

But no one came for her. No one even looked in her direction or said anything. So she went back to her room alone, and when the nurse locked her door and said goodnight, Hope smiled and waved as she left.

She waited until it was dark and everyone was asleep. Then she waited even longer. There was no clock in her room, and she didn't have a watch. It wasn't until she was tip-toeing past the front desk that she caught the time on the wall and realized it was almost midnight.

Once she was successfully outside, she ditched the keys in a nearby bush and ran for her life. She had no idea what she was going to do now; her plan hadn't taken her that far. She didn't even think she'd be able to make it out of the facility, let alone back to Meadow. But she had. She had made it out. And now she didn't know what to do.

Caledon was an hour drive from Meadow. She would need to find a ride back somehow. The only problem was, she didn't have any of her belongings on her, which meant no money. She couldn't catch a bus or train, which left the only other option.

Hitchhiking.

People did it all the time. And it was safe around here. All she had to do was flag down the right car, find a suitable person, and the rest would come easily. Surely there would be someone driving in the direction of Meadow tonight. There had to be. Her life kind of depended on it.

Once she was far enough away from the property, she slowed her pace and began walking along the side of the road. It was dark out, the only form of light coming from the moon. It was quiet too. Quiet like Meadow always was. She was used to the quiet. It became her solace.

A few minutes later, she heard a car approaching. She stuck out her thumb and hoped for the best. The car didn't even slow down. It just continued driving down the road, passed Hope, and farther into the distance.

She sighed, but didn't lose hope. Another one would come along eventually. And then she would be on her way home. She closed her eyes and recited a prayer, then asked God for some assistance.

"Dear God," she said aloud. "I know we haven't been on the best of terms as of late, but right now, I really need your help. Please, give me guidance. Provide me with the courage and strength I need to make it home. Please show me a sign. Give me anything you can to allow me to make it home safe and sound tonight."

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an approaching engine. Hope quickly turned her head and saw headlights in the distance, coming her way.

A smile engulfed her face. God had heard her! He had answered her prayers! And now she had a way home. Now she could do what she needed to do.

She stepped out onto the road and began waving her arms frantically, jumping up and down so that the car could see her, ensuring she wouldn't be missed and forgotten about like the last time.

This was it, she thought. It was really happening. She had finally made it. And from this point on, things were only going up.