She spent the days contemplating whether she made the right decision or not. But quite frankly, expecting to come to any conclusion of sorts was next to impossible. She would never truly know.
She felt more alone than she ever had before. Not only was Sebastian gone, but now so was Hope. The one person she felt connected to like no other. The one person she could run to and spill her guts to. The one person who believed in her, who truly knew her like no other. And Faith had pushed her away.
It was for the best, Faith told herself. But even she wasn't stupid enough to believe that lie. She tried to reason with herself, convince herself that she had done the right thing. But nowhere in her own heart could she accept that. Maybe it was the best thing for Hope, but not for Faith.
But that's what love was, after all, wasn't it? Sacrificing yourself for the sake of somebody else. Putting your own happiness on the line just for the other person. Faith knew that she was trouble, knew that she was no good for Hope. And Hope deserved better than that. She deserved someone who could love and care for her. Someone who she could marry and provide her with children. What Hope needed was Matthew, and Faith didn't want to stand in the way of that.
She loved her. Oh, did Faith ever love Hope. But sometimes love wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for Hope, and Faith knew that. Faith didn't think about wedding gowns and baby names. She didn't even think about her own future, let alone a future with someone else. And to Hope, the future was everything. Planning was everything. Counting down the days was everything. And that was why things could never work between them. Because Faith knew that she would never be enough. She would never be worth the risk, worth the sacrifice.
She skipped out on another weekend of visiting her father and instead chose to spend the weekend in bed. School was beginning in only a few short days, and Faith was anything but prepared. In fact, she didn't even want to go. She contemplated the ways that she could somehow get out of going. Break her leg? Slit her wrists? They were likely possibilities.
She went through bottle after bottle of whatever she could find in her mother's cabinets. She gave her brother money and begged him to pick her up something – anything – from the liquor store. She went through her stash of marijuana and physically felt the emptiness when the bag ran dry.
How else was she supposed to numb the pain? How else would she cope with the immense loss and heartbreak that she was experiencing? She needed intoxication. She needed distraction. She needed to think about anything other than Hope.
But Faith would learn soon enough that the task itself was next to impossible.
YOU ARE READING
Hope and Faith
Novela JuvenilAngry and bitter about her parent's divorce, sixteen-year-old Faith Everett isn't pleased when her mother packs up their lives and moves them to the small town of Meadow. Faith has a bone to pick with the world and prefers to stay away from the comp...
