Hope and Faith

THIRTY-ONE: FAITH

By Friday, Faith didn't even bother trying anymore. She didn't feel the need to go to camp because she knew Hope would only avoid her. She'd never get the chance to talk to her, let alone apologize.

But what was it exactly that she was apologizing for? Kissing her? That's when everything went wrong. Faith had no idea what had come over her. One minute she was staring at her friend, thinking about everything that was going on with the cat and religion and agreeing on nothing at all. And then, she was moving closer, kissing her, as if it were second nature.

Faith had never kissed a girl before. She'd kissed plenty of guys, that was for sure. But kissing Hope – it felt different. There was so much depth behind the kiss with Hope. As though her entire body was this dark, shallow place, and as soon as she kissed Hope, everything ignited. All of her senses were awakened, her mind was blossoming.

It only lasted seconds. Yet within those few seconds, so much had changed.

Faith didn't know how to explain the feelings she felt. She didn't even know what to call them. All she knew was that Hope was her friend, and she had done something incredibly stupid and reckless, and now that friend wasn't talking to her.

But, oh, if she could do it again, she would.

"I brought you some soup," Claudia said as she came through Faith's door around noon. Faith had played the sick card. It was her only way to get out of going to camp.
"Thank you," Faith slouched further under the covers so her mother wouldn't see her.
Claudia set it on the nightstand, then she perched herself at the side of Faith's bed and placed the back of her hand to Faith's forehead. "You do feel warm. I sure hope it's nothing serious. You haven't been sick in such a long time."
"I know," Faith forced a sniffle. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"Just rest up, okay? It will pass soon."
"I hope you're right."

______

She spent the day alternating between lying in bed, watching television, and reading. She didn't even want to attempt to go near her sketchbook. She was feeling awful, both mentally and physically. How could this be? What was going on inside of her?

When she made her way downstairs to the kitchen for a snack at three o'clock, she thought about Hope and how she'd be finishing camp now. She wondered if she'd look for Faith, trying to spot her in the crowd. Then Faith had the sudden realization that that wouldn't happen. Hope was done looking for her.

She grabbed the phone and called Sebastian. He picked up after the fourth ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Sebby."
"Faith, hi. What's up? How are you?"
"Fine. Just feeling a bit under the weather today," she said, scanning the main floor for any sign of her mother. "How are you?"
"What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, don't worry about it."
"You sure?"
"Mhm. Probably just a migraine or something. What are you doing?"
"Getting ready for work. I start at four today."
"Fun."
"So what's the deal for tomorrow? You still going to that thing?"
Faith hesitated. "No. I'm not. So you can come up, okay?"
"Sure. What time should I be there?"
"Do you work?"
"No, I have the weekend off."
"Okay, come whenever you want then."
"Alright. I'll call you before I leave tomorrow."
"Sounds good," she paused for a moment. "Have fun at work. I love you."
"Love you too. Bye."

She placed the phone back on the receiver and wandered towards the backdoor. Now with that out of the way, she could try to focus on seeing her boyfriend, rather than worrying about Hope and some stupid dance.