Tamed [GL-Sapphics]

Chapter 13 - Drive Me Crazy

TAMED XIII - DRIVE ME CRAZY.

SHE gave me a cold look and shoved my shoulders, making it clear that she wasn't buying what I was selling. I shut my eyes tight against the pain. This is her response, and it's as straightforward as it can be.

She rejected me.

She made me feel like I committed the worst thing ever and what it's like to be rejected. I was so disgusted with myself for what I did. Maybe she felt the same way with me and even more disgusted. I meant, who likes getting kissed without their consent? If someone tried that on me, I'd give them a good smack.

"Stupid, Zam, stupid," pagalit kong bulong sa sarili. Tinahak ko ang daan palabas ng pintuan only to get halted when she grabbed my arm and pulled me along.

"Zamantha. . ." She wiped my tears away with her bare hand as she whispered an apology, all the guilt in her eyes visible.

It's getting harder to look at her beautiful face without wanting to kiss her again. And if I were a man, I wouldn't mind kissing her everyday. Then, in a hushed voice, she returned the half-heart token I had given her. "Take it back."

Tumango-tango lang ako at tinanggap iyon. Suot pa niya 'yung mask, gusto ko siyang makita nang ganito kalapit, kahit ngayon lang dahil alam kong bukas, magbabago na ang lahat. "Can I see you face?"

She closed her eyes enough to let me know it's okay. Itinaas ko nang dahan-dahan ang isang kamay ko and slowly removed her mask, hinayaan niya naman akong gawin iyon. Tumambad sa akin ang napakaganda niyang mukha. Ang mamangha sa kanya, bagay na walang araw na hindi ko nagagawa.

"You're beautiful," malumanany kong bulong sa kanya. Gusto ko mang haplusun ang mukha niya pero pakiramdam ko, para siyang isang salamin na kapag pinagpilitan kong hawakan gamit ang malamig kong kamay ay magkakalamo. Mababasag, nakakasugat.

"M-mauna na po ako."

She silenced me by pressing her index finger against my lips. "Don't talk, stop it."

Right before I passed out and everything went dark, I caught her final words.

"Do not quit the play Zamantha."

***

FOR the first time in a long while, I woke up moments before my alarm clock went on, and I was wondering why I hadn't heard the usual loud noises from the neighbors. I usually spring out of bed when I wake up, but today my body is telling me to stay put and enjoy a few more minutes of rest.

Siguro ay dala lang ito ng nakakahabag na panaginip ko kanina. Iyak daw ako nang iyak kagabi pagkatapos ng event, and worst pati si Professor Sandoval ay hinalikan ko. Muntanga naman. Ba't ko naman 'yon gagawin? Sa dinami-dami ng pwedeng halikan sa panaginip, ba't babae pa? If she slapped me in that dream, it would've been fair because I deserved it.

As I nestled into my pillow and breathed in the soothing scent of lavender, the dream that I had hoped was a bittersweet illusion turned out to be truth.

Queen size ang kama, pink and white ang motif ng buong kwarto. I rushed to the bathroom and started washing my face. Hilamos lang ako nang hilamos hangga't sa unti-uning nabuo sa isip ko ang buong kwento kung bakit ako nasa kwarto ngayon ni Professor Sandoval. Nakakahiya! Na-recall ko na ang buong pangyayari, iyong panaginip na kanina ay tinatawanan ko ngayon ay pawang katotohanan pala.

"Miss, you're not allowed to open that door not until I told you so." the tern voice of the professor got me goosebumps.

Hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung paano ko siya kakausapin o pakikitunguhan. Humarap ako sa kanya pero hindi ko siya tiningnan. I drifted my gaze on the floor instead. Maganda 'yung sahig, pink, kasing kulay ng ceiling.