Miss Atomic Bomb | a.i

•16•

It was now Monday. I had been sitting on the ground for twenty minutes, trying to pay attention to the large book in front of me but failing. I picked out a new book this evening, it was called The Fault In Our Stars. I had been reading it since this morning, through out the periods, not even paying attention to the class above, but keeping my eyes sewed to the pages of it. I was already half way through the book, but I was beginning to get tired of reading.

I had been sitting on the floor against the book shelf, last row, and being greeted by Mrs. Corey ever so often. My focus was not on the book anymore, but on Rae. Some how everything had to drift off to her. Everything related to her in my eyes, everything reminded me of her, it was terrifying. It reminded me how pathetic and deep I was.

I hadn't seen Rae all day, only at lunch. She sat across from Luke, which I wasn't expecting, but she didn't talk to him once. She brought her tray to her seat but never ate. She didn't eat a single thing on her plate. She just picked up a plastic fork, and messed with her food. She seemed distracted, stressed more then anything.

She made eye contact with me in the hallway a couple of times, and every time I smiled at her, she never did anything back. It made me urge to ask her what was going on, but I didn't want to be pushy. Maybe it was that time of the month? No, she would probably come to me for that.

There was very few people in the Library as of now, classes had ended over ten minutes ago and I rushed here just so that I wouldn't have to face anyone. I didn't want to see Luke, I didn't want to see Michael, I didn't even want to see Calum. The only person I wanted to see was Rae, but that obviously wasn't happening. So I decided that the only thing that could push me away from the fact that I was alone, was this book.

I always came to the library when I had nothing to do. And when school was out, it was the book store down town. Calum and I went there often to look at the comic book section, but mainly it was just me going to re-read books that kept me busy.

I licked my finger slightly, folding the end corner of the page I was on in half, and closed the book. My knees were held to my chest as I stared at the shelf in front of me. It had about six sections to the book case, and it always amazed me as to how many books there were in the library. Our library was just as big as any other library, but just to think of how long it would take for one person to read them all.

My conclusions were cut off as I hear the front door of the library open, and shut close quickly, indicating that there was someone else here. It was quite loud, which normal kids that come here know not to do; slam the door. Mrs Corey hated when kids slammed the door to her library.

I peaked my head around the corner, and to my surprise, it was Rae. Mrs Corey had walked up to her, her wrinkly hand rested on her hip as she warned Rae about the small mistake she made.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I barely hear Rae mumble.

"It's alright, so, you lookin' for anything specific?" The librarian asked. Rae shoved her hands behind her back, messing with her fingers as she spoke,

"I was actually wondering if you guys had that new book, I forgot what it was called," Rae snapped her fingers, seeming to try and help herself jog her memory.

"What is it about? Do you know the author?" Mrs Corey asks.

"It's the one about the cancerous girl, and the boy with the unlit cigarettes?" She stumbles on her words. She was talking about the book in my hands, and just to my luck the only books left of it were here in the back shelf where I was.

"Back shelf, sweetie." Mrs Corey dismissed herself from Rae with a small smile, and walked away.

I scrambled toward the end of the isle, knowing that Rae would notice me, but hoping that she would just walk away if she thought I wasn't paying attention. I open the book, shoving it close to my face and looking at it. I hear the sound of heavy boots make their way toward the shelf, and I shuffle, not once looking up from the page.